Clandestine Infatuation
by Stessa
Summary: -It's not right for us to do this? It's not right for me to love you the way I do. To need you. It's wrong, because we're twins. It's illegal- -How can love be illegal?- But everyone thought it was, that she was a screw-up, a crazy person. Different Rypay
1. Chapter One

**Clandestine Infatuation **

**Chapter One **

**Mad World**

"So, when did you first start to feel this way about your brother?"

Sharpay leaned back in the chair, and looked up at the ceiling, carefully thinking about her answer. She had to answer the question honestly, "Hmm," she mumbled, lowering her gaze to look Doctor Mad in the eye, "I dunno." She said, brushing a strand of her golden hair out of her eyes, "It sorta just happened. Time after time. One day I just knew. I loved him."

"But there has got to be a reason." Doctor Mad said, looking at Sharpay over her half-moon glasses. The old woman was rather attractive, but there was something about her appearance that Sharpay just didn't like, "You don't just fall in love overnight. Especially not with your twin brother."

"I did." Sharpay replied, awkwardly crossing her legs.

"No, you didn't." Doctor Mad argued, pushing her glasses back on her nose, while giving Sharpay a hard glare, "You know you can't just fall for your brother, Sharpay. It's wrong. It's incest. How did it happen?"

"How did what happen?" Sharpay questioned, leaning forward in her chair, to be closer to her shrink, "How did Ryan and I fall in love?"

"Yeah, if you care to elaborate on that?"

"I do." Sharpay slowly said, leaning back again, to be more comfortable, "I can do that. Our parents have never been much home. They were always working. They still are."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Alone." Sharpay said, fidgeting with her hands, her index finger playing with her thumbnail, "And unloved. But then there's Ryan. He makes me feel better. He loves me. When we were younger, and the maids and the housekeepers left for the night, so we were all alone, we'd snuggle beneath a blanket and watch TV."

"When did that stop?" Doctor Mad asked, scribbling notes down on her pad. Sharpay knew she had to use them all later, when she was supposed to figure out what's wrong with her. But she didn't get it. Nothing was wrong with her. She was completely normal.

"It didn't." Sharpay told her, "It didn't stop. When we got older, and were just getting into puberty, we would still watch movies, and be together under the same blanket. And then we would experiment together."

"Experiment…?"

"Yeah." Sharpay said, nodding her head up and down, slowly, as she was thinking things over, getting her memories correct, "When we saw something in a movie. When someone kissed, we would kiss, just to see what it was like. No one was there. We only had each other. And we fell in love."

"So… You didn't realize that what you were doing was wrong?" Doctor Mad asked, raising her eyebrow, as she scanned the screwed-up girl in front of her. The blonde gal, who she could tell used to be stunning and beautiful, was sitting there, a shadow of herself, "That you're not supposed to have these kind of feelings for someone in your family? It's illegal."

Sharpay nodded her head again, her brown eyes moving around the room, because she didn't seem to be able to focus on the same thing for very long, "But how can love be illegal?" she questioned.

Doctor Mad let out a deep sigh and reached out to pull her patient in for a deep hug. When she was done, Sharpay looked startled for a second, but Doctor Mad sat back in her chair, grabbing her pen and pad again, "It's not love, Sharpay." She told her, "It's insecurity. It's the need for someone to love you. It's not love. It's wrong."

"Oh, it's love." Sharpay assured her, and closed her eyes, as she relaxed completely, "I love Ryan, and he loves me."

Doctor Mad swallowed hard and bit her lip, "So how old were you the first time you and Ryan had sex?"

"I was fourteen." Sharpay replied, still with her eyes closed. A smile came onto her lips, as if she was reliving the memory, "And we didn't have sex. We made love." She added, because for her, that fact was important.

"Tell me about it?"

_The front door smacked close, announcing that they were finally alone. Sharpay smiled happily to herself, as the piece and quiet overtook their big mansion. It was another night. Their parents had left for business three days ago, and now the maids had gone home, after cooking them a lovely dinner._

_They were still only fourteen, so of course their mother and father made sure there was food on the table everyday. But they didn't hire a nanny to spend the night, like when they were younger. They stopped doing that by the time Ryan and Sharpay turned twelve, and the twins didn't have any objections to that. _

_If they were alone, they could do what they wanted. And what they needed. They could feel loved, and be loved. Just the way it was meant to be. _

_Ryan made his way down the stairs to the basement, where their secret place was. They made it when they were nine years old – together. They were the only ones who knew about it. Their parents didn't even know that their kids had spent a lot of time making it just perfect. Just for the two of them, to spend time together, away from everyone else. _

"_Hey Ry…" Sharpay whispered, her smile getting huge by the sight of him. She padded the seat next to her on the sofa, and he sat down there, placing the bowl of popcorn between them. _

"_There's butter on them." Ryan told her, arching his eyebrow slightly, "Just the way you like it." _

"_Thanks," Sharpay replied, immediately grabbing a handful, to pop them into her mouth, "I love you Ry. You're the greatest brother in the world." _

"_I love you too, Shar." Ryan said, as he grabbed the DVD remote, and pressed play, "What movie did you put in?" _

"_It doesn't really matter." Sharpay said, smiling sweetly, "As long as it's romantic, and you're here with me." _

_Ryan turned to her again, and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. He then moved the bowl from in between them, and placed it on the coffee table, so he could have better access to his little sister. She wrapped her small hands around his neck, and lay down on the couch, Ryan and top of her. Their lips explored one another's, as his hands roamed her body. _

"_Mmmhh," Sharpay groaned, as his hand brushed across her left breast, "that feels good, Ryan…" _

"_It does?" he questioned, as he lifted his head slightly. He had a glint in his eye, and a sweet smile on his lips, as he went down to kiss her again. His hands moved around her body, as hers moved to unbutton his dress shirt. He paused again, as he wanted to move up her skirt, "Can I…" he trailed off, and swallowed hard, "Can I touch you there?" _

"_It's okay," Sharpay assured him, nodding her head a bit, "it's okay, go on. I don't mind." _

_He wanted to, but he still hesitated. He looked into her eyes again, to search for answers, but he couldn't find anything, "…it's not right, is it?" _

"_What do you mean, Ry?" Sharpay questioned, feeling confused. _

"_It's not right for us to do this?" Ryan asked, moving away from her, to sit up against the armrest, "It's not right for me to love you the way I do. To need you. It's wrong, because we're twins. It's illegal." _

"_How can love be illegal?" Sharpay asked, sitting up as well, to look deeply into his blue eyes, "I don't care, Ryan, I really don't. Maybe we're screw-ups, but we're Ryan and Sharpay Evans. I need you, I really do. I don't care if it's illegal." _

"_We'll be taken away from each other if anyone finds out." Ryan told her, as he grabbed her hand, squeezing it hard. Just to reassure her for a bit. There was no possible way anyone could find out about this. But if they did… Everything would go wrong. _

"_No one is going to find out." Sharpay told him, lifting his hand up to kiss it, "We're here Ryan. We need each other. You're everything I have. It's our little secret…" _

_Ryan nodded slowly as he made his way towards her again, moving on top of her. Their bodies pressed together, as the heat kept rising. Soon, their clothes were flying off too. _

"So you 'made love'?" Doctor Mad questioned, not forgetting to use the air quotes, to show how much she thought it was wrong, "And you continued to do that from then on?"

"Yeah," Sharpay agreed, nodding her head up and down, "yeah, we did."

"When was the last time you were together?" Doctor Mad asked, leaning back in her chair, while checking the watch above the door. There was still thirty five minutes left of her session with Sharpay. There was enough time.

Sharpay started to giggle, as if she was having a girl-talk with one of her friends, "Today." She revealed, blushing a bit, "During lunch at school. In the girl's bathroom. He took me up against the wall."

"Please," Doctor Mad said, placing her hands on top of each other, which was their sign for 'too much', "slow down. I don't want the details. Your icky details." she paused, and thought things over, as she glanced down at her paper, "Why did you do it at school? With so much risk of getting caught?"

"We can't do it at home anymore." Sharpay said, shrugging slightly, "Not after Mother and Father found out. You know, they are the reason we're even having these… _unnecessary_ conversations."

"So how about not doing it at all?" Doctor Mad asked her, cocking her eyebrow, in a very teasing manner, "How about moving on, and forgetting it ever happened? It's not like you can ever marry him, it's not like you can be together forever."

"Oh, we can." Sharpay assured her as she bit her lip slightly, "I need Ryan. He's the only person who cares about me. He's the only one I have."

"No, you _can't_ Sharpay." Doctor Mad said, looking deeply into the brown of her eyes, "It's wrong."

"No… no more me and Ryan?" Sharpay asked, suddenly feeling very afraid, as she looked up at her psychologist like a four-year-old would look at her mother, "No more love in the bathroom?"

"No…" Doctor Mad said, shaking her head slightly, replying the young woman, as if she was in fact a four-year-old, "No, Sharpay, _no more_ you and Ryan…"

Sharpay started breathing harder and more uneven as her eyes went wide. She looked at her shrink, confused and scared. Suddenly she started shaking and clutched the sides of her chair tight. Her face went pale and the shakes got worse and worse. Doctor Mad didn't know what to do to make it stop, and before she even got that far, Sharpay fell from her chair to the cold linoleum floor, where she hugged her legs tight and started crying.

"Sharpay…" Doctor Mad said, kneeling down next to the shaking eighteen-year-old. She was having some sort of attack, and even if Doctor Mad was used to see it, it still freaked her out a lot. Also because Sharpay was so different from anyone else she had ever had sessions with. Even if she didn't want to admit it… She cared about her, "Sharpay… _Sharpay_!?"

_"Oh God, Ryan…" Sharpay moaned as she rested her chin on his shoulder, while he was pulling in and out of her, very roughly. Her blonde hair stuck to her forehead because of sweat, and her moans were quiet and low, just in case anybody should walk by, "There, Ry…" she whispered, holding onto his neck even tighter, "Right there…"_

_He groaned and pushed her back into the door for a second, as someone entered the bathroom. They held their breaths, even though they were both about to burst. Sharpay's ragged breath was right next to his ear, and it sent a chill down his spine. His pants were around his ankles, and her skirt was hitched around her stomach, just so he could get access. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, which was their favourite position of all time. _

_When the bathroom seemed to be empty again, he pulled her head in for a kiss, as he started to move…_

"Sharpay!? Are you alright?!"

Sharpay slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the light that came down from the ceiling. She couldn't quite focus, the only thing she could make out, was someone leaning above her. She groaned and rested on her elbows now, as everything became clearer.

"Sharpay, what happened?"

"Uhm…" she said, as she could clearly make out Doctor Mad's features, "I just… I fainted. I think."

"Are you okay now?" Doctor Mad asked, as she helped the young woman up, and pushed her into her chair, before sitting down too. She quickly scribbled a few lines on her paper, before looking at her patient, "Did you see anything?"

Sharpay shook her head, quietly, and closed her eyes, to make her heart beat slower. She opened her eyes again, to stare right into Doctor Mad's grey ones. "I saw nothing."

"Fine…" Doctor Mad replied, as she leaned back in her chair too, "Do you want some water?"

"No thank you." Sharpay replied, shaking her head.

"When was… When was the last time you talked with your mother?" Doctor Mad asked, annoyingly clicking her pen up and down, in and out, "When did you have a talk with her about anything? Something that bothered you? Something at school?"

"Never," Sharpay replied, as she started playing with her fingers again, "we _never_ talked about anything. Definitely not now. She doesn't want anything to do with me. Not when I'm a screw-up. A crazy person." She laughed, but her laugh was full of nothing, "But the thing is…" she whispered, "I'm not crazy. I am what I am. I became what I am because of her. And because of that. So I'm not a screw-up. I'm Sharpay."

"Don't you ever feel the need to open up to her?"

"No." Sharpay blankly answered.

There was a silence between them for a minute or two. Doctor Mad waited for the teen to elaborate, but when nothing happened, she looked down at her paper again, furrowing her brow.

"Then what about your father?"

"What about him?"

"Did you ever talk to him about anything? Did you ever… open up to him?"

"I did." Sharpay quickly said, thinking things over, "One time."

"What happened?" Doctor Mad asked, putting her pen onto the almost empty paper, ready to write everything down.

"I had a problem with a girl at school, when I was six or seven… six, I think." Sharpay told her, as she drew her legs up beneath herself, sitting Indian style, "And he'd always told me that I could talk to him about everything. So I did. And the only thing he told me was that he didn't have time for my silly problems. And then I started crying, and when I wouldn't shut up, he hit me." She paused, and got a glazed expression in her eyes. She reached her hand out and hit the air like she would hit someone across the cheek, as if to show her what she meant, "Right across the head. I never talked to him about anything. Ever since."

Doctor Mad looked at the poor girl, and couldn't help but feel sorry for her. It wasn't completely her fault that she ended up the way she did. It wasn't her fault that her mind was screwed up. The parents were at fault here. Their mind games, and their lack of attention and love. But it didn't matter, because it was probably too late to fix the broken girl. The only thing she could do was speak to her, and tell her, what she was doing was wrong. But in the end… she couldn't really stop her from doing it.

Sharpay stared at her for a second, and then back at the clock above the door, "The time is up." She said, getting up from her seat, "Ryan is taking me out for ice cream before we head home. I think we're stopping by a motel or something." She paused, and held out her hand, "Now it's time for you to tell me that it's wrong, and that we're not supposed to."

"Nope," Doctor Mad replied, as she shook her hand, "the time's up, I'm not your shrink any longer. I've got nothing."

Sharpay offered her a weak smile, and nodded her head slightly, before turning away from the woman she spent practically every afternoon with. She didn't look back at her again, because she didn't want to be reminded of everything she left behind her in there, when she finally got out.

When she came out of the building and saw Ryan waiting in the car, she greeted him with a light kiss.

_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places - worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere - going nowhere  
And their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression - no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow - no tomorrow_

* * *

_So yeah. How about that? What do you think? Should I continue it? I have the whole thing written (nine chapters), so if you want the rest of it, you need to tell me. The chapters will play out over a few years, and this story is really different from anything I have ever done. I'm quite excited about getting it posted._

_Let me just state this; I think it's wrong for family to sleep together, and it's not normal. However, this is fiction, and the relationship Ryan and Sharpay had in the first movie (not so much the second), did lead up to something more. But only with a bunch of psychological issues, I believe. And lack of love from their parents. _

_There'll probably be a few M rated things here. But I dunno how you feel about it, because I don't think that what I wrote in this chapter was M rated. But again, that's different from person to person. I hope this floats your boats. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own High School Musical, I'm just borrowing the characters to write fiction. The chapter title is from REM's song 'Mad World' (I love that song), and the lyrics are from the one as well. _

_Please leave me a review, if you want more, eh? _


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two **

**Hear You Me**

_On sleepless roads the sleepless go._

_On sleepless roads the sleepless go._

_"Sharpay, I think it's wrong…" Ryan muttered, as he resisted the urge to groan because of her light touches, and fought not to kiss her pink lips, "We should stop this… I – I love you, but… You're my sister."_

_"I'm your lover." Sharpay told him, as he opened his eyes again and looked straight into her brown, chocolate orbs. They were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. He loved to just gaze into them for ages, especially after a night where they'd made love, and were just looking at each other._

"_But… But it's wrong." He continued, swallowing hard, as she reached her hand out to softly stroke his cheek, "It's wrong, Sharpay." He said, more firmly. _

"_How can love be wrong?" _

Ryan stared at his father, as Vance Evans sat before him, mighty and strong, his arms placed on the table, as if to show everyone, that this was his domain. Not that anyone would see them, because it was just him and Ryan. His son, who had gotten off to the wrong side, and now needed help to get back on track.

"Ryan," he begun, letting out a deep sigh, "Ryan, my _son_. We haven't quite gotten around to talk yet, since all this craziness started three weeks ago. Your mother and I have been… caught up in your sister's life, I will say."

"Sure…" Ryan replied, barely resisting to roll his eyes. But he managed to not do it, since he knew his father would get angry with him, "I don't see what we need to talk about anyway. What's the problem, Daddy dearest?"

"You see, Ryan," Vance said, standing up to be able to walk around, which was something he often did during presentations – this was a lot like it, "your mother and I, we're… we're quite shocked to realize your… relationship with your sister, as to speak. We hadn't ever thought something like this would happen, and we just don't understand, Ryan. What- what would make you and your sister think that something like this was okay?"

Ryan crossed his arms firmly across his chest and scoffed, "No one was ever there to tell us it wasn't."

"But son," Vance continued, stopping briefly, to look at him, "no one should tell you that it isn't okay. You should know that yourself. We do realize that… we haven't been home much, but we always provided you with a good and lovable nanny."

"Who left us as soon as she needed to go home to her own family." Ryan explained to him, looking at him, almost challenging him, "We didn't have anyone but each other. And I love Sharpay. She's the only one I have."

"Son, what do you need?" Vance questioned, suddenly sounding desperate, "What is it that you need? I'll give it to you! Do you need more acting lessons? Singing? I'll even be okay with you being gay, just make this madness stop! I know we have been quite strict with both you and your sister, but that's only because we loved you. I'll give you more freedom, so you can date other girls."

"I don't want other girls, Father." Ryan mumbled, but his voice was strong and full of strength, "I want Sharpay! And I want it to be okay."

"I realize your sister is quite… beautiful, Ryan." Vance said, distressfully shaking his head, "I know she has a… 'hot' body as you young people like to put it. And I understand it can be hard for a young man like you to resist a body like hers, if she wants to give it to you. But you gotta stop this, Ryan, you gotta learn to say no to her. It's wrong."

"Are you implying that Sharpay started all this?" Ryan asked, now standing up as well, even though he didn't want to lose his temper, "Are you saying that this is all her fault? That she throws herself at me like some… some hooker!"

"Son, son, son…" Vance said, trying to calm him down, "You don't need to defend her, to make it okay. We can't do anything to help her, if that's the way she is, we just can't. Ryan, but we can put an end to it now, to save you. We understand that a young guy like you wouldn't be able to say no."

"But I love her!" Ryan argued, desperately trying to make his father see; to make him get the point, "She doesn't throw herself at me! We don't have sex, we make love. And she's _not_ crazy."

"She's sick, Ryan!" Vance said, completely ignoring his son, "If she wants to sleep with her own twin brother, something must be seriously wrong! That's why she's seeing Doctor Mad now, to make her feel better. So she can feel well again. And next time she comes to your room Ryan, you have to say no! For her sake!"

"She's _not_ sick, Father!" Ryan said, pushing his chair back in anger, and standing up as his father was, "She's _perfectly _normal! She's Sharpay, and she needs someone to love her! And I do! I love her with all my heart. And I can't let you talk about her like this! Nothing is wrong with her!"

"Don't defend her, Ryan!" Vance argued, slapping his son across the cheek in anger, "This is all her fault! You don't need her to screw up your life! We have it all planned out for you. You're gonna take over the company once I can't do it anymore! You can't have a… a scandal like this in your backpack! It'll – it'll ruin us, Ryan! It'll ruin the good family name!"

"So this is all about you, Father!" Ryan yelled, ignoring the pain in his left cheek, "It's always all about you! You don't give a shit about me, and you don't give a shit about Sharpay! All you think about is yourself! You only think about your life, and your money… You don't give a shit about your own children's happiness! You're – you're cold as _ice_!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that, Ryan!" Vance hollered, slamming his huge hand into the wooden table, "Don't you ever dare speak to me like that! You're going to do as I say! It's not right. If you and Sharpay can't keep away from each other, if Doctor Mad can't convince Sharpay to drop her weird…" he searched for the right word and eventually seemed to find it, "_obsession_ with you, we're gonna have to get rid of her!"

"You wouldn't dare!" Ryan said, glaring at his father, as the small tears in his eyes threatened to fall, "You can't send your own child away, just when things get tough… Don't you love her at all? Or was she a mistake? Was there only meant to be me?"

"We didn't want a screw-up," Vance said, his breathing ragged, as he seemed to calm down as well. His voice was calmer now, but it was raw and emotional, "we didn't _ask_ for our child to be crazy, and bring us nothing but trouble. She's always been weird, Ryan. She's … she's mental, don't you get it?"

Ryan stood up and hammered his finger into his father's chest. He was angry, angrier than he had ever been. He wouldn't let someone speak this way about Sharpay; she hadn't done anything wrong, "There's nothing wrong with Sharpay. She's not mental, she's normal. I won't let you speak about her like that, and I certainly won't let you send her away."

"You can't do anything to stop me, Ryan." Vance said, his face inches from his son's, "You'll be shocked to see what kind of power I have around here. If we get rid of her, we'll tell everyone she killed herself. A scandal like this could ruin us, and I won't let that happen."

Ryan shot his father another look, before rushing out of his office and down the stairs. His head hurt, and he wanted nothing but Sharpay to make him feel better. She was the only one who loved him. But she wasn't there, she was at another session with Doctor Mad, _as always_.

Sighing, Ryan threw himself onto the couch in the basement. The couch where their mother and father, just four weeks ago, had discovered their secret. Their amazing, lovable, well-kept secret… And since then… _nothing_ had been right.

_"Gosh, I love you so much, Ryan." Sharpay whispered, lightly planting a trail of kisses on his naked chest._

"_I love you too Sharpay." Ryan mumbled, now pulling her head up to kiss her on the lips. She tasted like sweat, strawberries and coca cola light. He groaned against her mouth, and flipped them over on the floor, where they'd just made love. He pressed her against it, as she giggled slightly. _

"_Hmm, you do realize that Mother and Father are coming home tonight, right?" Sharpay said, as she broke off their kiss, "So we won't be able to do this anymore for another week. I'm gonna miss you."_

_Ryan tenderly stroked her sweaty fringe away from her face, and gazed down at her, love shining through his baby-blue eyes, "There's always the bathroom at school. Or our dressing room." _

"_People will hear us…" Sharpay trailed off, toying with the small curly hairs on the back of his head, "They almost caught us last week." _

"_We'll be more careful." Ryan urged her on, as he kissed her collarbone, and then the valley between her breasts, "I can't go on without you for so long, Sharpay. You're my everything. I love you so much." _

"_I love you too." Sharpay replied, kissing his nose lightly, "You're everything I have Ryan. I don't ever want to be apart." _

"_Me neither…" Ryan said, trailing his kisses lower, to her stomach where he decided to leave a hickey, "And we don't have to. I promise you, Sis, that we can be together forever. It's alright. I'll make it alright, I swear." _

"_You promise me?" Sharpay questioned, as she suppressed a small moan, when his lips brushed against her thigh, "You promise that we'll still be doing this in ten years?" _

"_I promise you," Ryan said, now pressing his lips against hers, "that I'll never let us be apart. I'll fight for us, even if people think this is wrong. It's not Sharpay, I tell you, it's not wrong." _

"_Love can't be wrong, right?" Sharpay murmured, letting her fingers gently massage his shoulders, as she got lost in the wonderful feeling she had every time they were together, "If people love each other, they should be able to have each other." _

"_I know," Ryan said, nodding his head, "I know, Sharpay…" he paused, as he kissed her again, "How about taking another turn before Mother and Father arrives?" _

"_Okay…" Sharpay said, immediately getting giddy, as he moved his mouth down to her left breast. _

_The temperature in the room quickly started raising, as Ryan gave her a treatment; her breasts, her stomach, her neck, her lips, her thighs and much more unspeakable places; they all got what she wanted, and Ryan loved the feeling of her beneath him and the sounds she made whenever he kissed her. She made the most adorable noises and when she felt like she had gotten enough from him, she flipped them over, and kissed his chest lightly, as she straddled him. _

"_Hmm, that feels good, Shar." Ryan mumbled, letting his hands rest on her waist. She was beautiful on top of him; her skin was slick with sweat and her blonde hair fell around her thin body in cascades, "I'm ready now, c'mon, let's go…" _

_Sharpay planted one last kiss on his lips, before moving up to get ready to take him in. She loved moments like these; it was just the two of them, and everything was right in the world. But before she got that far, the door burst open, and the franticly yell from their mother could be heard all over the neighbourhood. _

"_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!?" _

Ryan looked up, as he saw his mother stand in the doorway. She had abruptly ripped him out of his flashback by clearing her throat, and now she was just looking at him. Her brown eyes sad and full of tears.

"What do you want?" he mumbled, turning his head away from her, crossing his arms firmly. He didn't want to speak with her.

She took a step closer to him, slowly and surely making her way to the couch as well. She sat down next to him, and tenderly touched his arm, "Ryan… We're only doing this to protect you." she whispered.

"You're not protecting us, Mother." Ryan said, as he turned to look at her, "You're hurting us. Can't you see that?"

"No." his mother said, softly shaking her head, so her short, blonde hair, the hair that reminded him so much of Sharpay's, whirled around her, like a glory, "We're not hurting you, Ryan. We're doing the responsible thing. I don't even know how it happened between you and your sister, and I don't want to know. But something has to be wrong with one of you. And… your father expects great things of you, Ryan. So. Sharpay has got to be the one. He's powerful, you know that."

"But Mother…" Ryan said, as he looked up at her, his eyes hopelessly sad, "There's nothing wrong with Sharpay. Maybe Father refuses to believe me, but we just – we just wanted _love_. And we got it. And I love her. Why are you doing this to us? What did we do wrong, Mother? I can't figure it out."

"Duckie…" Viola replied, softly stroking his chin, "I'm sorry. I regret ever being a bad parent. But now, it's the way things are. And if Sharpay's sessions with Doctor Mad will not give results, he's going to get rid of her Ryan, and I can't do anything to stop that. I don't want to give up on my child. Your father is stubborn, and he refuses to let this happen. I can't do anything, I swear, I tried. But he sent Sharpay off to Doctor Mad, and I just watched. I know your sister, Ryan. She's just as stubborn as your father, so she won't tell Doctor Mad what your father wants her to say, and that will result in her being send off. I recommend – since you love her that much – to have your last time with her."

"But Mother…" Ryan said, as he looked up at her, both grateful and confused. He didn't want Sharpay to be send off, but it sounded like the decision was almost already made. So he loved his mother for giving him her blessing until – if you could even call it that.

"I don't want to hear about it, Ryan." Viola said, and this time she turned away from him, "I don't think it's right, and I even find it disgusting. But you're my children, and since it won't be long then, I guess I can let it slide." She reached into her pocket, and took out Ryan's car keys, sliding them into his hands, "I took these earlier, from your father. I think you should go pick Sharpay up, and get some ice cream, _whatever_." She paused, "I already informed her of this, just don't tell your father."

Ryan held onto the car keys, as he stared into his lap. He loved his mother for this. She had always been more human than their father. And because she took things more calmer, he could finally see their perspective. It was what he had tried to convince Sharpay all along. Something was wrong. And even though he thought that, he still didn't want to end it.

There was a silence between them, where Ryan gazed at his hands, fidgeting with the keys, while thinking things over in his head. Viola Evans just stared at the wall, waiting for her son to comment further on something. _Anything_.

"Mother?" Ryan questioned, looking up, to find her turning to him, "…how does it feel to have two screw-ups for children?"

Viola reached out and softly stroke his blonde hair, "It feels pretty good." She mumbled, and tears were evident in her voice, but she didn't let them fall. She softly stood up to leave, but before she did so, she planted a kiss on top of Ryan's head, a smile playing on her lips.

"Go get her for awhile." She said, and then she walked out of the room, like she hadn't even been there.

_"Ryan, I love you…" Sharpay whispered, looking deeply into his eyes, as the twelve-year-old boy wrapped his arms around his twin sister, planting a kiss on the side of her head._

"_I love you too, Sharpay." Ryan said, a smile playing on his thin lips._

"_No…" she trailed off, reaching a finger out to stroke his face everywhere, to take in his features, "I really love you… You're everything I have." _

"_I -" Ryan paused, and tried to read the brown of her eyes, before leaning down to kiss her on the lips – their first kiss, "I love you too. For real."_

_What would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance._

* * *

_So yeah. This was the second chapter. The next one should be here soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing; I'm really glad you like this different piece so far. I hope I'll be able to keep your attention through this. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter too._

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own High School Musical, I'm just borrowing it for awhile. The title in this chapter is 'Hear You Me' by Jimmy Eat World, so are the lyrics. _


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

**Come What May**

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
__Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace  
__Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
__It all revolves around you_

"If I mention Troy Bolton, then what do you say?"

"Gosh," Sharpay said, as she got a mysterious smile on her face, and a faint blush crept onto her cheeks, "Troy Bolton, you say? Well, he was my first love. He's so adorably cute, I don't know what to do with myself when he's near. But of course he can't beat Ryan – Ryan's the cutest."

"Of course he's the cutest." Doctor Mad replied in a mock-cheery voice, and after that let out a deep sigh, "But… what is it with this Troy Bolton? You mentioned him once before, and I thought I'd dig up in it just a little?"

"Well," Sharpay mumbled, as she fiddled with her thumb and index finger again, just as she always did, "he's in our homeroom. He's a jock, but I really like him. Which is weird, since I don't do jocks. But there's just something about him…" she paused, and sighed dramatically, "…and he became even more irresistible after he joined the drama club. He is an amazing singer."

"How does Ryan feel about you, and uh… Troy?"

"He thinks it's cute that I like him that much." Sharpay replied, as she giggled like a real school-girl, "Just as long as I'm only looking, he says. He always said that. Since we were kids. He told me Troy Bolton is no good for me. And I know that too. Plus," she added, as she lightly licked her lips, "he has a girlfriend."

Doctor Mad's face shifted slightly to the side, as she cocked her eyebrow, "Girlfriend, you say?"

"Yes," Sharpay nodded her head, agreeing, as she leaned back in her chair, and rested there, "Gabriella Montez. The most annoying, smart and pretty, goody-goody, saint in the entire world. And Troy fell right for it. I don't understand."

Doctor Mad swallowed hard, noticing how her voice was filled with emotion every time she said 'Troy', "So nothing ever happened between you two?"

"No," Sharpay confirmed, "and I don't want it to now. I've got Ryan. He's my true love."

"Okay." Doctor Mad said, and ripped a paper off of her notepad. She curled it into a ball, and threw it over Sharpay's head and into the trashcan. There was no use for it now anyway.

"What's that?" Sharpay questioned, as her eyes followed it, and stayed on it, as it hit the can.

"Your mother's idea." Doctor Mad replied, shrugging slightly as she scribbled two names down on each a paper, "She thought that if I could get you to talk about Troy Bolton, you'd forget about Ryan, and go after him again. That way we'd all win. But it doesn't work that way, now does it, Sharpay?"

Sharpay shook her head lightly, "She believes a lot of stuff. But even if I wanted to go after Troy, it wouldn't work, 'cuz he's absorbed in being the cutest couple with Montez."

"I see." Doctor Mad replied, as she ripped the two papers off her pad, and curled them together, placing one in each of her hands. She mixed them, and held them out for Sharpay, her fists closed.

"What do you want me to do?" Sharpay questioned, as she arched her eyebrow slightly, just to let her shrink know that she wasn't a five-year-old, and this was definitely ridiculous.

"Take a pick." Doctor Mad said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which is probably _was_, "If you pick the one I think you do, all my beliefs are right. It's not just a piece of paper, you know. It represents something. And if your heart chooses, you'll take the wrong one, and if your brain leads the way, you'll pick the right hand." She paused, and locked eyes with the teen, "Which one do you pick, Sharpay?"

Sharpay seemed to study the hands for quite some time. She thought things over inside her head. She wasn't sure what to choose, because apparently it meant a huge deal. But then again, what can a piece of paper mean? She breathed out softly, and reached her left hand out, placing it on Doctor Mad's left hand as well.

Doctor Mad shot her a little smile, and turned her hand over, opening it for Sharpay to take the curled paper. She slowly took it, and unfolded it with great care. As she read the lines, she couldn't help but smile.

Your heart is with you. You chose Ryan, you chose wrong. This will do you no good, Sharpay. Do you wish to turn back time?

"No." she replied, as she looked up again, and curled the paper into a ball, holding onto it, so her knuckles turned white.

"No, what?" Doctor Mad asked, quite confused.

"No, I don't." Sharpay told her, and leaned back in her chair again, "I don't wish to turn back time. Whatever you mean by that. If I could turn back time and not pick your left hand. If I could turn back time and not sleep with Ryan? I'd do none of it. What's done is done, and I made the choices I found right. Ryan is my true love, that's why I slept with him. I chose your left hand because my heart told me to."

"And your heart told you to sleep with Ryan as well." Doctor Mad said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair; this was not something she usually talked about, "What does that tell us? That it makes good choices, maybe. For you, perhaps. But that it makes right choices? Smart choices? The heart has never done that, Sharpay. So you should try not to let it control you any longer."

"If I don't have love, then what do I have?" Sharpay questioned, as she leaned forward, to get closer to her shrink; to look her more in the eye.

Doctor Mad shrugged and lightly flicked a finger against Sharpay's forehead, "Use your brain. That's what you've got it for."

Sharpay leaned back in her chair again, and so did Doctor Mad. They stared at each other, while a silence occurred between them like never before. Doctor Mad studied the blonde girl before her, taking in her features, as she knew it wouldn't be long before their sessions ended. Sharpay thought things over, the wheels moving inside her head.

Suddenly she broke the silence though, with a question Doctor Mad never thought she'd hear from her. It was like she was admitting something was wrong, but she didn't want to change it;

"How can you be so screwed up that you want your brother forever?" she questioned, feeling lost and sad, worried, "How can you be so screwed up that when you eat dinner with your family, and your brother sits right across from you, you just want to rip off all his clothes and make love to him right there?"

Doctor Mad chose not to answer, simply because she didn't know how to, and asked another questioned instead, "…who called you a screw-up?"

"Mother…"

"_GET OFF HIM!" Viola shrieked, as she ripped Sharpay off Ryan, and threw her at the couch, "What the hell are you doing!?" _

_Vance hurried into the room as well, and threw a blanket over his son, who was sitting at the floor, blankly. Viola didn't notice any of this, she grabbed Sharpay by the arm, and pulled the naked teen with her out of the room._

"_Mother!" Sharpay shrieked, as tears welled up in her eyes, and she unsuccessfully tried to cover herself up, "Mother!? What are you doing? Where are we going!?" _

_Her mother didn't answer, she pushed Sharpay into the first room they came to on the second floor of their mansion, and pushed her further onto the couch. They were in the TV room, so Sharpay immediately pulled a blanket from one of the chairs, and covered herself with it. _

"_Mother?" she tried again. This time, she wasn't yelling, she just wanted to know what was happening. This couldn't be happening. Their parents had just walked in on them, what would happen now? She had no idea, but she was certain it wouldn't be good. She gulped._

_Viola just stood there, staring at her daughter, slightly flushed, but mostly disgusted, "How long have you been sleeping with your brother?" she wanted to know. _

"_Mother…" Sharpay whispered, looking into her lap, as she didn't know what else to say. She really didn't want to answer that question. Mostly because it was personal, but also because it was her mother. How weird and unnatural was that?_

"_Answer__ me, Sharpay!" Viola demanded, stomping her foot into the floor, "NOW!" _

_"…a couple of years," Sharpay continued, still whispering. She had to answer, because her mother was not to mess with, "but we didn't want you guys to know, because we knew you wouldn't like it. I'm sorry Mother, can't we just pretend you never walked in there?"_

"_And let this continue on!?" Viola asked, and you could hear the snigger in her voice, "Please Sharpay, do you think we're stupid? He's your twin brother! It's incest! It's __illega__l!"_

"_But how can love be illegal?" Sharpay questioned, using the phrase she always used to convince Ryan. He was the one who invented it though, it wasn't even her. _

"_Are you seriously asking me that?" Viola yelled, rolling her eyes, "Gosh, Sharpay. What is it? You're a screw-up. Just a screw-up! What did I do to deserve this? You are never to be alone with your brother again!"  
_

"_Mother!" Sharpay exclaimed, standing up, so the blanket she picked up before, fell from her thin frame, and landed on the floor in a heap, "You can't do that! I love him, please… Mother, I really love him. He's my true love, he's everything I have. I need him…" she started to sob, as tears fell from her brown eyes, and drifted down her rosy cheeks. _

"_What do you know about love, you're only a child!?" Viola scoffed, as she looked at her daughter, hate in her eyes, "And for God's sake, cover yourself up!" _

_Sharpay slowly bent down and picked the blanket up, wrapping it around her shoulders, "…please Mother…" _

_Viola slapped her across the cheek, and scoffed again, "Sharpay, are you dumb? Or are you just a whore? How many other guys have you slept with, huh? Everybody from school?!"_

"_Just Ryan…" Sharpay whispered, not daring to look her mother in the eye, since she knew it wouldn't be well received if she did. _

"_You're pathetic." Viola spat, shaking her blonde locks back, "I'm going to set up an appointment with a psychologist to make this madness stop! Do you get it, Sharpay? You're a screw-up! You're going to a shrink."_

"_Please Mother, nothing's wrong with me!" Sharpay said, now looking up again, finally brave enough to do so. She didn't want to see a shrink, she didn't need that; she was fine, "Nothing's wrong with me, Mother… I'm normal, please. Can't you see that? I love Ryan, but I'm not crazy." _

"_Yes, you are." Viola said, narrowing her eyes in on her daughter, before turning to leave, "You're a screw-up." _

_The door smacked close behind her. _

The two of them turned around with a startled look in their eyes, as the door smacked close behind them. Sharpay held her breath and gasped, as her mother stepped closer into the room.

Viola Evans could be quite intimidating when she wanted to. Even though she was short, and did yoga, she was also tough looking, and could scream bloody murder.

"Mrs. Evans!" Doctor Mad said, quickly shooting out of her chair, as if she had been sitting on needles, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my daughter." Viola replied, as she shot Sharpay a fake smile, and brushed her over the head, "…hi honey."

"Hi Mother." Sharpay sadly replied and lowered her gaze onto the floor, suddenly filling much less in the room, as the older female Evans overtook the room with her beauty and her voice. It was clear who had control here, and Sharpay had nothing to say.

Viola took a seat in Doctor Mad's chair, ignoring the thin, fragile and rather old therapist, "We need to discuss your living arrangements, Sharpay dear. And we couldn't do it at home, because your father is having this conversation with your brother."

"What about my living arrangements?" Sharpay questioned, daring to look up at her mother, but she seemed scared to hell, "Are you going to lock our rooms at night so we won't sneak into the other? Are you taking Ryan out of my homeroom just so I won't see him there? What, 'cuz I think you did every possible thing there is to do!"

"Your father and I have come to an agreement." Viola said, as she accepted the cup of tea Doctor Mad gave her, without a second glance, or a thank-you, "And we have discussed these… these _outcomes_ of your sessions with Doctor Mad, and since you're not making any progress, we have come to a solution."

"And what solution might that be?" Sharpay questioned, letting out a deep breath. Preparing herself for the worst. Her mother and father were cruel. She had learned that a long time ago. She was brave enough to stand up against her mother at times, only because she knew she had to, otherwise she would be trampled all over by her mother in five inch heels.

Viola smiled at her daughter for a second, with that fake smile of hers and took a sip of her tea, "I have contacted the Gellers. They have three kids of their own, plus two other kids, and they'd be happy to adopt you too."

"What?" Sharpay questioned and looked up, her eyes locking with her mother's while the words sunk in.

"We realize that you're already eighteen years old, but you need to have a 'family' in the baggage when you go to college, and to finish the rest of high school. The Gellers will be overjoyed to have you. So that's where you're going." Viola explained.

"No," Sharpay said and shook her head, rapidly, swallowing loudly. This couldn't be happening, "no, you can't take me away from Ryan. Please Mother, please… I promise I won't sleep with him again, just please let me stay here in Albuquerque. I need you guys, you're my family. I love you…"

"It's not up for discussion, Sharpay dear." Viola continued and she stood up again, dusting her dress pants off, "It's already set. You're leaving tomorrow. It's Saturday."

"No Mother!" Sharpay said, standing up as well. She was seriously scared, tears were in her brown, chocolate orbs, and her skin was raising Goosebumps, "You can't send me away! I'm your own child! Please, Mother… It's… I'm not _that_ bad. I'll be better… I promise."

"The decision is final, so to speak." Viola stated, breathing out, angrily trying not to hit her so called daughter.

Sharpay's breath got quicker and she turned her eyes towards Doctor Mad, who looked helplessly at her patient. Sharpay just closed her eyes for a second, to blink back more tears, but when she opened them again, her world turned around, and her sight started spinning.

She reached her hand out for something to support her weight and settled for the armrest, as she kept breathing in and out. She could feel heat coming to her from everywhere, even though her skin was cold. A loud ringing tone started going off in her head and she sat down completely, placing a cold hand on her beating heart. She opened her eyes, but she couldn't focus.

Suddenly her world went blank and she could hear Doctor Mad and her mother speak in hushed tones, before she blacked out completely, her fist uncurling, letting the tiny piece of paper fall helplessly to the ground.

_Come what may  
__Come what may  
__I will love you until my dying day_

_Oh, come what may  
__Come what may  
__I will love you, oh I will love you_

_--_

_Thank all you guys for the awesome reviews for the last chapter. I'm happy to know people enjoy this! _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own High School Musical or 'Come What May' from Moulin Rouge._


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

**Goodbye My Lover**

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you._

Ryan let out a deep breath, as he stared at the door on the other side of the hall. He was sitting by the wall, on a white plastic chair, staring at the door, which was white as well. He couldn't get himself to stand up, cross the small hallway, and knock on it.

He didn't want to face the facts, he didn't want to say goodbye. He just wanted to turn back time, and never let all this happen. He just wanted everything to be like it was. For him and Sharpay to sneak around behind closed doors, for them to make love beneath the sheets on his bed, and not think about the world around them. For them to just enjoy each other, and love each other, like they'd always done.

He bit his lip slightly, and watched as a nurse came out of Sharpay's room, carrying some sort of medicine. At least that was what it looked like to him, but he wasn't quite sure. They were probably drugging his sister, just to make sure she stayed calm. Sharpay had never been calm, and she definitely wasn't going to let this one down. She was fighting them until the end, he was sure of it.

He leaned his head back in the chair, and remembered how school had gone by the last two days, when Sharpay hadn't been there. Word had somehow gotten around that she was hospitalized, and all of the East High student body knew about it yesterday, when school was out. Apparently someone had a mother who was a nurse or something, and they'd recognized Sharpay from all the musical posters she'd had her face on since they started high school.

It had not been pretty. Some people had been worried that something might be wrong with her, but then they'd been informed that she had had a panic attack, and that her records showed she'd been seeing a shrink for the past month. Now people started believing she was crazy, and Ryan heard no end of it. He couldn't stand the insults they threw at him about her. He just wanted it all to go away.

Finally, he decided to get off of his butt, and cross the hall, to knock on her door. He knocked at it slowly, not wanting to startle her, or to freak her out, in whatever she was doing.

By her faint 'come in', he opened the door, and peeked inside, a stiff smile on his lips. Her face lit up too, by the sight of him, and she quickly turned off the TV, and opened her arms to greet him. He hugged her tightly, and moved his lips to her mouth, kissing her there several times, before letting go, and sitting down on the chair beside her bed.

"I've missed you so much, Ryan!" Sharpay told him, laying down on her side, to stare into his blue orbs, "I've been miserable here. I was really doubting you'd ever come."

"Of course I'd come." Ryan assured her, as he reached his hand out, to softly stroke her across the cheek, "I've missed you too. But things have been kinda hectic. Mother and Father are packing all your belongings, Sharpay. You're really leaving."

Sharpay let out a deep sigh, and looked at her pillow briefly, before looking him in the eyes again, "I know," she softly said. It was too hard to even think about it. It hurt too much, all the way into her heart, "I don't want to believe it. But I know I can't stop it."

"I've tried, Sharpay." Ryan told her, as he just looked at his sister, his best friend, his lover, "I've done everything to convince them to let you stay, but they won't listen. They almost wouldn't let me come here to say goodbye to you. Can you believe it?"

"No," she said and sat up in the hospital bed, shaking her head lightly, "I can't. And I don't want to. I just want to… make it all go away. Disappear. Ryan, why can't it just disappear?"

"I dunno." Ryan said and he moved onto the bed as well, because now there was room, "I wish it could. It'd be so much easier. It'd just be you and I, Shar. You're the one that I want. You're the inspiration. You're a hard habit to break. You're… what I've been looking for…"

Sharpay softly smiled at him. She loved all the song references; it was something they had had together since they were kids. She sighed dreamily and opened her mouth, singing 'their' song, in her beautiful voice;

"_It's hard to believe  
That I couldn't see…_"

Ryan tightly grabbed her hand and silenced her with his eyes. He didn't want to hear it; it hurt too much to sing their song when they couldn't be together anymore. She had to keep quiet, she couldn't finish.

Sharpay bit her bottom lip with her front teeth and turned her look a tiny bit upwards to let her eyes lock with Ryan's completely. They just stared at each other, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Ryan drowned in Sharpay's brown, chocolate eyes, while Sharpay got lost in Ryan's ocean blue ones. They could just stare into each other's eyes forever, they knew nothing better.

Slowly, ever so slowly, they leaned in, capturing the other's lips in a mind-blowing kiss. They forgot everything around them, and got lost in each other. They needed this right now, they just needed release.

_"Ryan?" Sharpay asked as she gently took a step into his room, where he was sitting on the floor, playing with his action men. He was wearing a pair of green shorts, and a white t-shirt, plus, of course, his green hat._

_Sharpay herself was wearing a pink dress and her hair was in pigtails. _

_He looked up from his game and stared blankly at his twin sister, "What, Sharpay?" _

"_Can I play with you?" she asked, insecurely taking a step closer to him, a Barbie doll in her right hand and a bag of chocolate cookies in the other, "Mrs. James said we better play together, so I brought cookies."_

_Ryan licked his lips for a second, before nodding his head slowly, "Sure, Sis. Come, you can take a seat next to me. Do you want to still play with action men?" _

_Sharpay excitingly sat down, and nodded her head, "Can my Barbie fall in love with him? It could be Barbie and Ken, and they could get married, and have a dog, and three kids!"_

"_That's a girl's game!" Ryan argued, while taking a cookie out of the bag Sharpay had placed between them, "I wanna play world game. Action men saves the world, okay? Your Barbie can be the evil one, and die in the end!"  
_

"_No!" she said, rapidly shaking her head, which caused her pig tails to fly around her, wildly, "If we use your Lego men, they can be their kids, and they can all eat cookies!" _

"_But…" Ryan said, as he took a cookie more, placing it on top of his action man's head, "He can't eat that one; it's too big." He eyed the cookie on the small doll, which was three times bigger than the head, "It'll rather be a meteor, which is close to destroying the Earth, and he has to save everybody! Can't you see that?"_

"_No…" she softly said, and watched as Ryan begun his world-game. Her brown eyes were big with questions of her brother's game, and she just watched him, and started feeling sadder and sadder, plus more left out. _

_Ryan stopped suddenly, and turned to look at his sister, "What now, Sharpay?" _

"_I don't wanna play that game! I wanna play mine!"_

"_It's too girly!" Ryan argued, as he took off his hat, to make it a ship for his game, "Can I use your Barbie as the evil one?" _

"_No." Sharpay said and grabbed her doll closer, pressing it tightly against her chest, "Barbie is not evil, she's nice. Find something else." _

"_Give it to me, Sharpay, you're not using it right now, anyway." Ryan said, "She's the perfect one, why can't I have it?"_

"_Because she's not evil, she's sweet and nice… and beautifullest!" _

_Ryan was about to answer when a sudden sound by the door caused the arguing twins to turn their heads and look in that direction. Both the kids broke into a huge grin, when they saw their beloved father standing there. Sharpay was quickest; she threw her Barbie at the floor, and ran into her father's open arms, hugging him to death. _

_Ryan followed, and the two of them agreed on one thing. It was nice to have their father home, after have been watched for so long by Mrs. James. She may bake them cookies, but she'd never give them hugs like their father could._

"_Hmm," Sharpay mumbled into her father's shoulder, snuggling up to him, "I love you so much, Daddy. Don't ever leave me again… Promise to always be there for me, no matter what." _

"_I promise, Princess." Vance assured her, as he kissed her forehead, "I love you too, and I promise…"  
_

"He didn't keep his promise." Sharpay mumbled, as she snuggled up closer to Ryan on the bed, where they were both lying.

"Who did?" Ryan asked, turning his eyes to look directly at her.

"Father," Sharpay simply answered, looking up at him as well, "he promised me that he'd always be there for me. That he'd always love me. I guess that only counted until he decided I was a screw-up."

"You're not a screw-up." Ryan said, kissing her hand, letting his lips linger there, "You're perfect. I love you."

"I love you too." Sharpay said, pressing her lips against his for a short minute, before letting go, and relaxing completely against him.

A nice, comfortable silence came between them. They lay there, snuggled together. Ryan was stroking his hand down Sharpay's bare arm, and Sharpay was breathing in Ryan's scent, trying to always remember it. She didn't want to believe that this was the last time she'd see him, but it was. It made her sad, and it broke her heart, but she couldn't do anything. Her father was one of the most rich and powerful men in Albuquerque, and he wouldn't let this pass him by.

Suddenly Sharpay turned around, so she was lying on top of Ryan, and stared him right in the eyes, "What happened with school?" she questioned, taking him by surprise.

"When people asked where you were?" Ryan questioned, and he had to use all the muscles in his stomach to speak, because Sharpay was kinda heavy lying on top of him like that.

"Yeah?"

"Someone heard from their mom you were here." Ryan explained, stroking her hair, "They knew about your sessions with Doctor Mad as well. People were really worked up and weirded out. They called you all sorts of things. I just ignored them, okay?"

"Yeah." Sharpay agreed, breathing out, "It's not like I have to go back there ever again, anyway."

"No…" Ryan mumbled, staring sadly into Sharpay's eyes, "…promise me we'll see each other again, Sharpay?"

"I don't think I can promise that…" Sharpay whispered, sadly kissing his lips several times, before continuing, "I really don't think Father will even let me visit. Maybe I can write you some letters, maybe? And maybe we'll see each other in ten years? Remember what _you_ promised _me_?"

"That we'll still be doing this in ten years…" Ryan whispered too, trailing off.

"Doing what?" Sharpay teasingly questioned, and Ryan's head shot up, with an arched eyebrow, as answer enough to her dirty thoughts.

Sharpay leaned down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, letting her hands trail over his body. Ryan kissed her back, and flipped them over, wanting to be on top. His hands moved across her hospital-gown covered body, then underneath it, wanting to feel her one last time, just wanting to be with her again.

He wanted to make a memory. He wanted to have a proper goodbye. He loved her so much, and he needed this. Going on without her love would cause him pain, and he needed one last time of release.

And that was what he got.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

* * *

_So yeah. Next chapter should be up as soon as possible! I want to thank you all for the reviews, and ask you to review again. They mean so much to me (: And I'm sorry about the huge amount of lyrics in this chapter. I just had to add it in to keep my story where I wanted it. I hope it still flowed nicely._

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own the songs I mentioned when Ryan spoke about Sharpay: You're the One I want – Grease, Hard Habit to Break and You're the Inspiration – Chicago. And of course… What I've Been Looking For – High School Musical. I don't own 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt either. _


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

**Nothing Compares to You**

_It's been so lonely without you here  
Like a bird without a song  
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling  
Tell me baby where did I go wrong?_

Sharpay plopped down on her bed, sadly looking around in her new room. The walls were yellow/white, like someone had been smoking in there for a long time, and the smell lingered in the drapes, and in the wallpaper, and she almost didn't know if she could take it.

She stared up at the ceiling. A lonely light bulb was the only light she had, but she didn't care. She wasn't going to do anything anyway. She could always unpack tomorrow, right now she just needed to take everything in.

The Gellers were really sweet. Pete and Lynette Geller had three kids of their own; Annabelle, three years old; Tom, ten years old; and Mickey who was fourteen years old. Then they had adopted two siblings; Tomas, seven years old and Mary-Ann, nineteen years old.

They'd all treated her really nicely when she arrived a half hour ago. They'd asked her how her flight was, and how she felt. But they hadn't talked about her family, which she appreciated. She found them all sweet, except Mary-Ann whom she hadn't met yet. She couldn't wait to meet her, because she hoped she might find a friend in her. She was going to start in Mary-Ann's homeroom class, so it would be great if they got along.

She couldn't wait to get settled more. She had to unpack her clothes, plaster all her posters onto the white walls, and just get to know everybody better. She really believed she could get a good life going here, when she HAD to leave Ryan. She just needed to find someone to speak to when she needed it. But it'd all come, she was sure of it.

There was a knock on the door, and she turned her head, to see Tom and Tomas, who by their parents were called the Two Toms, sticking their heads between the doorframe and the door.

"Hi…" Sharpay whispered, sitting up in her bed, and by that inviting the two little boys into her room, "What's up?"

Tom took an insecure step into the room, Tomas trailing behind him, "Mom wants to know if you like hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, I do." Sharpay smiled, reaching her hands out for the two boys. They were so cute, she almost couldn't help but laugh. She didn't though, knowing that at the age of ten, being called cute wasn't the greatest thing.

"We have hot chocolate and cookies downstairs!" Tomas said, grabbing her hand tightly, while sitting down next to her, "Mary will be home soon. And then you can meet her. Mommy and Daddy says it's gonna be nice to have you here with us, just for a few years."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it." Sharpay replied, and she kissed his cheek – she couldn't help herself.

Tom grabbed her other hand, and tucked it lightly, "Wanna come, then?"

"Yeah." Sharpay said, and she and Tomas stood up, and the three of them made their way downstairs, going for the cosy kitchen. Sharpay really liked it here. Of course nothing could beat her old home with Ryan there, but this was nice. The kitchen was a small one, and it had drawings made by their kids plastered on one wall. Another one of the walls were painted with different colours, as if they tried to figure out what colour looked best in there. She was used to something so different, and it was a nice change.

The huge oak table in the middle of the kitchen was made nicely with cups and napkins for them all, and Sharpay took a seat in the chair Tomas told her was hers. Lynette immediately poured hot chocolate in her cup, and Sharpay smiled gratefully to them. Mickey handed her the plate with cookies and she took one, nervously nibbling it.

"When will Mary be home?" Annabelle questioned, her little childish voice squeaking.

"Soon, Belle." Pete replied, kissing his daughter's hair, "Soon baby."

"You like your room?" Lynette then asked, turning to Sharpay, a huge smile on her old face.

"Yeah, it's very nice." Sharpay replied, one of her hands were still tucked in Tomas', so she placed her cookie down, to grab her cup, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Lynette said, her dimples were huge, and Sharpay really liked her, "We won't speak much about your 'family'-" she used air quotes, and Sharpay couldn't figure out if she liked that or not, "-because we're your new family. We'd never trade you out for someone else. We're not like that."

"It means a lot to me." Sharpay said though, sincerity streaming through her voice. She was almost moved to tears by the friendliness of this family. And also the fact that they sat down and drank hot chocolate together on a regular afternoon. She wasn't used to that. She'd never experienced that. It was so… family-ish.

"And if you ever need to talk about what happened," Pete chipped in, putting his pinky into the hot liquor to see if it was drinkable – he winced, so it probably wasn't, "you can always come to me. I don't need to know, and I won't force it out of you, but I'd be here to listen if you need it, alright?"

Sharpay nodded, not knowing what to voice out loud, but luckily, she didn't have to beat herself in the head with it, because the kitchen door opened up, and an older girl, wound up in a huge coat and a hut, came through the door, smacking it behind her.

"Hey, everyone!" she cheered, pulling the hut off, which caused a mass of long, black curls to fall from her head, and down her shoulders, almost cascading. It blew Sharpay away, who sat in awe, staring at the new girl, who could be no other than Mary-Ann.

"Mary!" Annabelle cheered, quickly jumping off her chair, and then she ran into her sister's arms, who enveloped her in a deep hug, and swung her around in a little circle, before putting her down again.

"Welcome home, Mary." Pete said, as he pulled her chair out, for her to sit on, "Get your coat off, and come join us."

"Yeah." Mary-Ann said, as her eyes landed on Sharpay and the two girls stared intensely at each other for a second or two. Then she tore her eyes away, and started to unbutton her coat, "Yeah, be right back."

She left the room, and Sharpay couldn't help but follow her with her eyes. There was something about her. Mary-Ann was special, she could already feel that. And her hair was really beautiful, and her green eyes so intense. When she came back in the room, Sharpay studied her closer for a minute or two, as she sat down, and said hi to all her siblings. She was really beautiful, Mary-Ann, Sharpay noticed. She had a nice figure, and even though her skin was white, almost as white as milk, there was just something that was appealing about her. She was dressed in a grey skirt, and she had taken her boots off, and was now wearing furry slippers. She had on a red long sleeved shirt, and was now pulling her hair back in a ponytail.

Mary-Ann looked up from the Barbie Annabelle was showing her, and stared right into Sharpay's eyes again, and Sharpay felt a weird tingle all over. Her gaze was so intense, it was almost scary.

"Oh, and Mary!" Lynette said, placing a hand on Sharpay's arm, "This is Sharpay, I almost forgot to tell you! She's going to stay here until she's ready to be on her own."

Mary-Ann nodded slightly, "Nice to meet you." she said, that intense look in her eyes.

Sharpay nodded back, trying to return the gaze, "Likewise."

**--ooo--**

"But I dunno…" Sharpay tiredly said, almost yawing into the phone, "It's a little confusing."

"But you're feeling fine?" Doctor Mad asked, sounding really concerned.

Sharpay had to admit, she actually missed her sessions with the old lady. There was something so calming about the shrink, she could always make Sharpay feel better, and no matter what the problem was, she made it seem okay. And apparently Sharpay was just a screw-up, because she had decided to sort of fall in love again, "I'm feeling fine, yes. But our relationship is so wrong!"

"There's nothing wrong with it, Sharpay." Doctor Mad replied, "Having sex with your brother was wrong, but having sex with a none relative is totally fine. It's not wrong, it's better. It's okay."

Sharpay breathed out, because she still wasn't convinced. She changed the subject though, and asked, "How long do I need to keep taking my pills?"

"For awhile yet." Doctor Mad said, "We just want to make sure that you're fine. It's for your own best."

"Have Mother and Father asked about me?"

"No." Doctor Mad answered, very shortly, "Sorry, honey."

"It's okay." Sharpay said, though she didn't sound convincing, "I didn't expect them to. But I'm gonna go now, Doctor Mad. Thanks for talking to me."

"Always." Doctor Mad replied, before hanging up the phone.

Sharpay stared at it for a few seconds, before a warm hand laid itself upon her shoulder, and Sharpay turned to come face to face with a mass of curly, black hair. She kissed the warm, inviting lips lightly, and leaned herself against the strong person, who was there to catch her whenever she needed it.

"What did she say?" Mary-Ann whispered, stroking her hands across Sharpay's cheek.

"They haven't asked." Sharpay said, gulping. It hurt, it hurt her so bad, "They haven't… They don't care about me. I'm nothing. I never existed. Ryan, he-" she almost couldn't say it, "-he doesn't love me."

"I think he does." Mary-Ann replied, tenderly kissing her nose, "And I do. I love you."

"I love you too…" Sharpay whispered, turning around fully, to press her lips hard against Mary-Ann's, feeling the need and the comfort. She pulled away a second later, and closed her eyes.

"I think it's time for you to tell me what's up." Mary-Ann replied, stroking her across the cheek again, "I love you, Sharpay. I've known you for about a half year now. I want to help you. What happened? What caused them to send you away?"

She was curious, and Sharpay couldn't blame her.

"I-I was in love." Sharpay replied and the two girls sat back on Mary-Ann's bed, sitting against the grey wall, Sharpay's head on Mary-Ann's shoulder.

"In love?" Mary-Ann questioned, "Like now? Like with me? …with a girl? Is that why?"

Sharpay softly shook her head, "No…" she whispered, "I was in love with Ryan. With my own brother. Please don't hate me, and say it's disgusting, 'cuz I don't need to hear it any longer. I was in love with him. And we made love. Since we were young. But then Mother and Father found out."

"I'm sorry." Mary-Ann replied, combing her fingers affectionately through Sharpay's brown locks. Her colour was slowly coming out, and she'd cut her hair shorter, and let the curls run free. She didn't have money to get extensions, and get it dyed. But she liked this, it was the new Sharpay Evans. Or rather, Sharpay Geller, which now was her name.

Sharpay closed her eyes slightly, as her heart got calmer, "Doctor Mad really wanted to help me. She wasn't disgusted, and she didn't judge me like my own parents did. She was the best. I just- I just miss Ryan at times." She stopped and slowly moved over, to straddle the older girl, "…but now I have you."

Mary-Ann smiled slightly, and kissed her deeply as reply.

"I love you, Ann." Sharpay told her, as her fingers worked on her own top, wanting to remove it. Ann was her name for Mary-Ann. The rest of the family called her Mary. But Sharpay called her Ann. It was their thing.

"I love you too, Sharpay." Mary-Ann said and she pulled Sharpay's top over her head, and came face to face with a topless Sharpay. They moved around, as their lips joined, and Mary-Ann was now on top of Sharpay, who was pulling Mary-Ann's skirt off, to get closer to the girl.

Their lips joined again, and they made out, and touched each other for a long time, just getting lost in the feeling. Sharpay couldn't explain it. She loved Ryan with all her heart, but when she was with Ann, her world got better, and she felt secure. She knew that if she should choose, she'd choose Ryan in a heartbeat, but Ann was her saviour… She made her life worth living. The first months of her stay were bearable because of her. But when she was to move out, she knew it'd be okay too. Though she'd have neither Ryan nor Ann, she was sure that she could find someone – or something – else to keep her sane.

A knock on the door, broke the two lovers apart;

"Are you doing your homework?" Lynette asked, through the locked door.

"Yes Mom!" Mary-Ann replied, taking her lips from Sharpay's.

"I don't hear much studying, you're awfully quiet!" Lynette continued, her voice slightly accusing.

"We're reading!" Sharpay added, hoping it'd get her to leave for now.

"Yeah, okay." Lynette said, "But if I get one more phone call from Mr. White saying that you haven't done your homework – both of you – then it's grounded! Get it?!"

"Yes!" they chorused, before they heard her leave, and they continued their previous activity.

**--ooo--**

Mickey poked her in the ribs, "Did you remember your pill?"

"Gosh, no!" Sharpay said, as her brown eyes turned to meet his blue ones, and a feeling of nervousness started streaming through her, and she became kinda scared.

"Then it's a good thing that I grabbed the bottle before we left home, right?" Mickey continued, holding it out for her.

"There's a reason I love you," Sharpay mumbled, grabbing it from him, to take her daily pill, "…and now I found it."

"We can't have you having a panic attack on graduation day, now can we?" Mickey said, shooting her his charming smile. She'd really grown close with him after he turned fifteen. There was something about him that really got to Sharpay. And if she was a couple of years younger, and not living in the same house as him, she would have been ogling over his smile and hair like all the other girls were. He was his school's answer to Troy Bolton.

Annabelle came to her two siblings, and Sharpay picked her up, careful not to mess up her fancy dress. She kissed her sister's pouty lips, and hugged her tight.

"Are you really leaving us in three weeks, Sharpay?" she asked, her voice small and sad.

"Yeah." Sharpay said, merely nodding. She was sad too. She'd really come to love this girl, and all the other kids.

"But you've not even been here a year!" Annabelle argued, her blue eyes, the same as Mickey's, filling with tears, "You should stay longer."

"I can't." Sharpay replied, kissing her cheek, "I'm going to New York, you see. But I'll call, and I'll come visit."

"Why can't you stay like Mary?" Tomas wanted to know, as he held onto Sharpay's free hand, "You don't have to go that far away. You should stay. I love you."

"I love you too, Tom." Sharpay said, now kneeling down. She put Annabelle onto the dirty ground, and looked the two in the eyes, before saying, "I love you all. And I'm gonna miss you. I know I will. But I'll always remember you." she paused, and placed each a hand on each of their chests, "And I'll always be in here."

The two of them launched onto her, and wrapped their tiny arms around her, crying a little, as they hugged her tightly. They were pulled off of her two minutes later by Mary-Ann, who grabbed Sharpay's arm, to drag her with her. They had to get ready for the ceremony, and get their diplomas.

Their relationship had been on thin ice after Sharpay announced her move to New York. She'd been working hard the last year to save money for an apartment, and now she got an okay job, so she was ready to move.

"Ann?" she whispered, as they stood in line, right next to each other, "I don't want us to fight. I love you."

"I love you too." Mary-Ann sighed, and unnoticed by anyone else, grabbed her hand. She squeezed it tight, "And I'm gonna miss you. You've taught me so much, but it's time to move on."

"I'm glad you see that." Sharpay replied, gulping as the line became shorter, "I'll always remember you though."

"Yeah." Mary-Ann said, nodding her head, as her name was said, and she loosened her grip on Sharpay's hand, to go on stage.

Sharpay watched the girl she loved, as she got her diploma and shook hands with several people. She couldn't believe high school was over. It was time to go into the real world, to stand on her own. She wanted to find her place. She was still very confused, even though Mary-Ann had made her feel better, but there was still some stuff she needed to do. She wanted to make a difference, and she wanted to get a good life. She wanted to put all the shit behind her, and remember the good times…

It felt like an eternity since she left Albuquerque, and she could only believe her life had been better since then. She actually had nothing to complain about right now, and she felt as if it was stupid to leave. But she also had to go on, just like Mary-Ann said. It was time to move on.

She took a deep breath,

"Sharpay Geller!?"

There she went, into the real world.

* * *

_Okay, so we jumped about a year in this chapter, the end of high school. I hope you all liked Mary-Ann, 'cuz I simply loved her. She was very important, sorta Sharpay's rock. I hope you were all okay with the whole girl/girl stuff. It wasn't too obvious, and it won't be mentioned again. Next time we see Sharpay is in the future._

_Anyways, it means the world to me if you review, so please? I've loved hearing from you guys so far. You are amazing. _

_**Disclaimer; **__And I don't own High School Musical and 'Nothing Compares to You' by Sinead O'Connor. _


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

**How Can I Not Love You? **

_Cannot touch, cannot hold  
Cannot be together  
Cannot love, cannot kiss,  
Cannot have each other_

_Cannot dream, Cannot share,  
Sweet and tender moments  
Cannot feel how we feel,  
Must pretend it's over_

"I'm so proud of you, son!" Vance Evans said, as he took a sip of his expensive red wine, "You graduated! Everything is alright, and you can finally take over the company!"

"When he's ready, of course." Viola smiled, padding her son on the arm for good measure.

"It's lovely to finally be out of high school." Ryan replied, a smile on his lips, "And then when I get home from college, everything will be waiting for me. Thanks Father."

"You're welcome, Ryan." Vance said, just as a waitress placed all their too expensive dinners in front of them. The smell was nice, and the Evans family could really feel how hungry they were. They were celebrating Ryan's graduation. It was a nice day.

"A toast!" Viola said, raising her glass into the middle of the table, "…for Ryan! Our wonderful son, who is now finished with high school. May good things happen in your future."

Ryan smiled and they all clinked glasses, before drinking.

"And today, son," Vance said, taking an envelope out of his pocket, "is a really special day, because four days ago, I received a letter from Sharpay Geller. She talks about everything, and how well she is now. And we thought you ought to hear it, to make sure you've completely moved on, and forgotten everything."

Ryan's head poked up a little by the mention of his sister's name. He hadn't heard a word from her in a year. He wasn't even sure that his parents had received any letters either. It might just be this one.

Vance unfolded the letter, and cleared his throat, "'_Dear Evans family. It's me, Sharpay. I hope you are all fine after almost a year. I'm really good. The Gellers are the sweetest people, and soon after I got to know them, we changed my last name. I still talk to Doctor Mad occasionally, and I'm still on my medication, but everything is fine. I'm really close to a girl I call Ann. She's a Geller too, and she's one year older. You won't like this, Vance, it will make you resent me even more, but I'm in a relationship with her._'-" Vance paused, and locked eyes with Viola.

"Oh God," she muttered, totally disgusted. With a roll of her eyes, she continued, "First incest, and now this… What did we do wrong?"

"'_I'm not trying to hurt you Ryan,_'," Vance continued, "'_But I really love her, and I hope you're well too. I know you've probably had plenty of girlfriends since I left, and I wished for that. Just because I'm a screw-up, shouldn't stop your chances for a happy life…_'."

Ryan zonked out, as Vance stopped to eat a bit,

_Her lips came crashing down on top of his, her brown hair surrounding his head and his pillow. His brain was clouded, because he felt like he shouldn't be doing this. It was wrong. She wasn't blonde, she wasn't Sharpay…_

"_God, Ryan!" she muttered, as his hands trailed the outlines of her breast and down her stomach. _

_He moaned as well, when her handy finger-work started on his pants, but he couldn't help to close his eyes, and think of someone else. Brown hair turned blonde, chocolate skin turned ivory, and her curls went straight. Her voice got lighter, and her curves got smaller. _

_Sharpay. _

"_Gabriella!" he whispered, his lips moving to the crook of her neck, as his pants landed on the floor, followed by her bra, "God, Gab…" _

_In his mind it wasn't her. He only had eye for one girl, and he pictured her hands, her lips and her body. That was enough to arouse him completely, and Gabriella always believed it was her. It was better that way, because no one could know his secret. And when he had to satisfy himself, because he didn't have a hot date, it was Sharpay's smile and chocolate eyes he pictured. _

_"Ryan…" she said, and her voice didn't sound right, "Ryan…"_

"_Sha-" he bit his tongue, letting out a deep breath, "Gabriella…"  
_

"…anyway," Vance said, "we better see what that little slut wants to say more, huh?" he looked back at the letter, and scanned the first lines with his eyes, before continuing, "'_It has just been graduation day, and I'm leaving in a few weeks to go to New York and stand on my own. I know you're graduating next Friday Ryan, and I wish you all luck. I bet you're going to college, so you can continue the business, when Vance retires. Anyway, if you could somehow write back to me before I leave, it would be great, because there's a few questions I'd like to have answered._'."

"What's that?" Ryan mumbled, biting his lip slightly.

"'_When I left, what did you say to people? Were they sad I was gone, or were they dancing around in joy? Did you ever miss me? Did someone miss me? I'm in need of some answers, so I hope you can give me that. Please?_'."

"Oh joy," Viola said, taking a piece of salad into her mouth, "she's begging. What a pitiful, little girl. Glad we don't have to worry about her anymore, right? And of course we won't answer her. Just throw the letter out, Vance."

Vance curled the piece of paper into his fist, and placed it on the table, to let be in the trash. Ryan wanted to read it. He wanted to get her address and to write to her. He didn't care about that other girl she had, he cared about her. He wanted to know if she was fine. To just write a few lines back to her, to let her know he was well too, and that he was happy that she still cared that much about him.

As he let his Mother and Father talk about what little, dumb, blonde Sharpay was, he thought back to that day, when he told the students at East High, that Sharpay wasn't coming back…

"_Ryan!" Kelsi cheered, happily hugging him, as he stopped by her table in homeroom. There were a few minutes until the bell rang, and he dreaded that moment. He was going to have to tell. It was all arranged with Mrs. Darbus. His father was a powerful man, so no questions were asked. It was just done. _

"_Sharpay not here yet?" Zeke asked, as he padded Chad hi on the back. _

"_No…" Ryan replied, softly shaking his head._

"_This may sound stupid, but I actually miss that show tune singing Ice Princess." Chad said, taking a seat by his desk, while Taylor tried to hit him in the back of the head. She hated when he called Sharpay that. Especially in front of Ryan or Sharpay herself. _

"_Well, I do." Gabriella announced, as she gave Ryan a quick hug, "There's no East High without her, alright? I wish she'd be well enough to go to school soon." _

"_Yeah, me too." Jason added, nodding his head slightly, as Troy did the same. _

_Just then the bell rang, and Ryan slumped to his seat in the front of the class. Mrs. Darbus entered, a sad smile on her face, and her eyes filled with dramatic tears._

"_Are you okay, Mrs. Darbus?" Jason, being the good boy he was, asked. _

"_No, Mr. Cross." Mrs. Darbus replied, dramatically shaking her head, "I'm not okay. I got the news last Friday. Seems like one of the students has left us." _

"_Oh my God!" Taylor exclaimed, placing a hand on her heart. She was really moved, and the whole class started mumbling and muttering about who, and how, while Ryan just stared into his desk. _

"_Ryan, my dear!" Mrs. Darbus said, her voice immediately shutting everyone else up, because it was so loud, "I'm so sorry for your loss. Tell your parents I'll be at the funeral." _

"_Thank you Mrs. Darbus." Ryan replied, not daring to lift his head up to look anyone in the eye. _

_But he didn't need to, because at the same instant, Gabriella, Taylor and Kelsi had left their seats, and were somehow next to him. Gabriella was kneeling down in front of his desk, looking at him. Taylor had wrapped her arms around him from behind, and Kelsi was awkwardly padding his hand. _

"_Ryan…" Gabriella said, tears in her eyes, "Why didn't you tell us? We thought she'd be here… We're so sorry we talked like that." _

"_It's okay, you didn't know." he mumbled, not locking eyes with her. _

"_What happened, man?" Zeke asked, as the whole class listened closely to their conversation._

_Ryan finally looked up, and Taylor let go of him, giving him space, "You know Sharpay had some problems. She was seeing a shrink, and she was hospitalized after a panic attack. Well… seemed like she didn't want to go through all that, and go through life, so…" He stopped, not knowing how to continue._

"_She killed herself?" Troy whispered, his voice emotionless._

_Ryan merely nodded, and then he was wrapped in another hug, this time from Kelsi, who was sobbing her eyes out. As much as she'd been afraid of Sharpay, she'd loved her just the same. No one had a talent quite like her and Ryan's, and it was a shame… that she couldn't live it out, per se. _

"_If you need anything, Ryan," Gabriella said, "you know I'm here for you, right?" _

"_Yeah," he mumbled, nodding his head, as he wrapped his arms tightly around Kelsi, "yeah, I know. Thank you, Gabriella." _

Ryan still couldn't live with the fact that he had lied to all his friends. It was such a big lie, too. It wasn't like, 'no, I can't come to the movies, 'cuz we have a dinner party coming over', and then he just spent time with someone else. It was a really big lie. And that they had all believed it, was even weirder. Because if they had known Sharpay for real, they would have known that she wasn't a sort of person to kill herself. She hated blood, and she hated pills and injections. She'd never do that.

"Anyways," Viola said, as she finished her wine, "we should probably get home too, right?"

"Yeah," Vance agreed, as he had already paid the check, and was finished as well, "we should. Grandmother and Grandfather are coming over later, Ryan. Too see your diploma."

"Oh." Ryan replied, standing up to take his coat on, "Yeah, sounds great."

"Good." Viola muttered as they went for the door.

They went to the car, and got ready to get in, but Ryan stood there, a hand on the handle. He was clutching it so hard, that his knuckles were turning white. He couldn't get himself to go in. There was something he needed to do… He needed that letter, and he needed to visit her.

"Ryan?" Vance questioned, poking his head out through the window of his very expensive car.

"If you don't mind, I think I'm gonna walk home." Ryan said, letting go of the handle, "I really need some exercise after that dinner, and I could use the air too. I need to clear my head. Y'know, after everything that happened today. Saying goodbye to everyone."

"Sure." Viola replied, with a smile at her only child, "Just remember to be home in time to change, okay?"

"Yeah." Ryan said, and watched as they drove out of the parking spot, and until he couldn't see them anymore. Then he turned around, and hurried towards the restaurant, and through the doors. A waiter was clearing their table away, just as he entered, and he shot Ryan a questionable look.

"Sorry." Ryan said, quickly grabbing the curled letter, "I forgot this. Thanks for the food though, it was nice… I'll recommend it to all my friends!" and before the waiter could reply, Ryan was out the door, and was running down the sidewalk, in between people, trying not to crash into them.

He just avoided an old lady, and was now running down another sidewalk. He stopped and thought for a second, the letter still curled in his hand. He needed to see her, to be near her. Her looked around and quickly saw a yellow cab down the way. He hailed it, and asked it to bring him to her. The cab driver said no problem, and twenty minutes later, Ryan was standing by the entrance to the graveyard.

He quickly walked through all the gravestones, and ended in front of the fake one his father had made for Sharpay. He sat down next to it, not caring about his clothes, and looked at the picture that was sitting there. Her eyes were shining bright, and her blonde hair was in braids. She looked really happy.

On the stone it said,

**Sharpay Evans, **

**Beloved sister, daughter and friend.**

**We will always remember you. **

He let the tears fall. She might not be dead for real, but it felt like it. Sometimes he missed her so much, he didn't know what to do with himself. He hadn't seen her in a year, and he loved her so much. She was his everything, and they just took her away. All the flowers on the graveyard were rather new, which proved that people still thought about her, and cared about her.

They'd fooled so many people. What wouldn't they say if they knew she wasn't dead? What wouldn't they think? It was so wrong. The only thing in the casket was some of her old clothes, teddy bears and favourite books. There was nothing of her in there, only memories.

He let a tear slip, as he unfolded the letter, and read the lines over again. By the bottom of it, her address was written, plus a picture was taped there, with her and some other girl. She wasn't blonde any longer. Her hair was brown, and it was shorter too.

She looked happy.

He read the lines again and again. Word for word. Sentence for sentence. He almost couldn't take it. He finally let all the tears fall, and hugged the letter so hard, it almost crumbled. He sobbed, as his hat fell off, and he hugged his knees to his body, letting all his frustrations out. It was too much… he had to … he had to see her again. He just had to. The pain was buried, but it was still there.

He jerked back when someone touched his shoulder.

"Excuse me?" the girl asked, a smile on her lips, "Are you okay?"

He looked up at her, and slowly shook his head. Her hair was blonde… Beautiful blonde and straight. But her eyes… they weren't brown. They were green.

She sat down next to him, and glanced at him for a second, "Who's dead?" she questioned. She sounded sweet and genuine, and Ryan wanted to answer her.

"My sister." he managed to choke out.

"Oh, I'm sorry." she said, glancing at the picture on the graveyard. She seemed to study it for awhile, while Ryan just studied her. There was an actually comfortable silence between them, as the wind blew her hair backwards, and his tears dried.

Suddenly she turned to him, her lips curling into a smile, "My name is Mandy. What's your name?"

"Ryan." He answered.

She nodded, and then stood up, reaching out to pull him with her. He did so, the letter still in his hands. She then glanced at him again. Her eyes were such a clear green, almost see-through, and her smile was heart-warming. She was wearing a dress, and her lips were turning blue because of the cold.

Before he knew what he was doing, he reached an arm out, and placed it around her shoulders, "Say Mandy? You want to come to dinner with my parents and grandparents? I just graduated, so we're celebrating."

She shot him a smile, and somewhat leaned closer to his body, "Yeah, that sounds nice." She agreed.

"Great." he said, as they started to walk towards the entrance again. He glanced quickly down at the letter in his hand, and pondered the options over in his head for a few seconds. Finally, coming to a decision, he let go of the letter, which quickly flew away from him and down the empty graveyard.

"What was that?" Mandy asked, quickly looking back.

"Nothing," Ryan replied, staring deeply into her eyes, "nothing, Mandy. I'm just… I'm just moving on."

_Must be brave, and we must be strong  
Cannot say what we've known all along  
How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you here in my arms?  
How does one waltz away from all of the memories?  
How do I not miss you when you are gone?_

_How can I not love you when you are gone?_

* * *

_So what do you say? I hope this was as good as the rest. Mandy will be here later in the story as well. I hope you hate Vance and Viola, because that's what I do. Please leave me another review. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own High School Musical and 'How Can I Not Love You?' by the Joy Enriquez. _


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

**Keep Your Mind Wide Open**

_Have you ever wanted more  
Don't you know there's so much more_

_You've got to keep your mind wide open  
All the possibilities  
You've to live with your eyes wide open  
Believe in what you see_

Sharpay Geller let out a deep sigh, as she wrapped her coat tighter around herself, crossing the street. There weren't that many cars in this part of town. No one really came there, except for the people who lived there, and they were all too poor to have cars. She didn't have a car either, but at least she didn't live in this area. She wished she could save some of the kids from this environment, but she knew she couldn't. If she had enough room in her small apartment, she would happily have made them stay with her.

But she doubted they'd feel home anyway. Sure, they all loved her to death, because she was one grown-up who really cared. Their own parents didn't really care that much, they only sent them off every morning, and expected them home well-fed so they didn't have to cook. Like they had the money anyway.

She went into the small building, sighing. They could really use a new door. Plus a whole lot of school supplies. It was kind of hard to teach kids anything, when you needed books. It was sad, really. There were a few nice people (including herself, of course) who tried to make it all better for the kids. But the rich people, the people who had the money to make a difference, didn't care at all. And Sharpay knew it'd probably take all the world's money to get every poor kid a nice life, but starting just one place; it'd save more. It'd get just a few more kids out of a life full of misery. Wasn't it worth a try?

She went through the broken hallway, shivering in her hot winter coat. There was no heat in this building – of course. They couldn't afford tables and chairs enough to everyone? Heat, no way. She smiled at José and CC when she met them, quickly kissing CC's cheek. He blushed a bit, and hurried into the room where he taught math. Class was starting soon, so he probably had to get ready.

Sharpay really loved CC. He was so sweet. He was only eighteen; didn't have a job, and didn't go to school. He just, like Sharpay, wanted to make a difference. He didn't care about himself. He cared about getting them all better lives. And Sharpay suspected he sort of had a crush on her. Or maybe not a crush, but he was sort of captivated by her. She was a great deal older than him. She'd gone through high school, and had worked for a long time, but was now doing this. She didn't like him at all, but she showed him enough affection, so he knew she cared.

José was a great friend of Sharpay's. She came from a rich family too, but unlike Sharpay, her parents supported her a lot. They made sure her rent was paid, and that she got food, but they didn't give any money for the school. They made sure to mention it occasionally, and they were proud of their daughter and the work she was doing. And José's husband was a journalist and well-liked published author. That made them well-known around New York, but people still didn't give a rat's ass. Sharpay hated that, but she couldn't do much about it.

She got into the classroom, and shed off her coat, knowing she'd freeze to death when she got back out, if she kept her coat on inside. She placed it across her desk, and smiled at the students in her class. She taught them how to write, and she had the 'fun' class too, where they sung, and acted, and played. They had a fundraiser show just this summer, but not many showed up, and what they made barely covered what they paid to get everything done. And the kids really loved her classes. José and CC had all the (as the kids said) boring classes. Math, and biology, and like… social studies.

The kids weren't that old. Actually, they were all different ages. It was all poor, and mostly coloured kids, who went there. Sharpay loved everyone to death. She had weak spots for some of them, but she didn't treat them differently.

"Hey Sharpay!" Little Joe said, happily hugging her around the waist.

"Hey Little Joe." Sharpay smiled, and padded his wild curls, before he swept away, to sit by his desk. Sharpay looked through the class, and quickly scanned the faces, to make sure who was there and who wasn't. She realized they were all present, and quickly turned around to write something on the blackboard. She knew some of them couldn't read yet. They'd gotten two new students just last week, and it was hard for them to catch up. But Sharpay did her best, determined to make it all happen for them.

"I have an announcement for you all." Sharpay told them, as she finished writing the name on the blackboard, "But first, can anyone tell me what it says here?"

A bunch of hands flew into the air, and Sharpay didn't know who to choose between all the eager faces. She settled for Kiara, one of the older girls.

"Yeah, Kiara, what do you say?"

The girl smirked, proud of being chosen, "It says Mr. John Olson."

"That's correct," Sharpay smiled, before pointing at the name again, "and does one of you know who he is? He's written a lot of books, and he's a very famous author. Can anyone name me one of his books?"

Again, a bunch of hands shot into the air.

"Yes, Freddy?"

"He's José's husband." Freddy replied, "And his best book, in my opinion, has to be 'Living in the Ghetto'."

"Very good Freddy, very good." Sharpay smiled, before writing the name of his book next to his name, "And… now I'm getting to the announcement. You wanna know?" she shot them all a questionable look, but she knew the answer by heart. Of course they'd want to know.

"Tell us Ms. Sharpay!" Little Joe begged, his shy hand shooting into the air, after he'd already spoken.

"Sure, I'll tell ya'." Sharpay laughed, as she sat down on her desk (she didn't have a chair), "He's coming here tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, he wants to interview us." Sharpay smiled, "For the newspaper. But apparently he's brining a TV station, as well. José wanted people to get to know more about your life, to get them to donate money for the school – for tables, books, pencils – and he's very known, so people will trust him and be watching. I'll need you all to look your best, and be ready to answer questions."

"Will we get on TV?" Mira, another girl, around age twelve, asked, her smile getting huge. She was just like Sharpay; obsessed with theatre and singing. She really wanted to make it big. It was hard for a poor girl like her, but Sharpay was determined to help her go all the way.

"Possibly." Sharpay smiled, and let out a deep sigh, "And I was thinking… We might want to rehearse something for them, don't you think? Like, a song or something?"

"Yeah!" Mira exclaimed, and shot out of her seat, "I'd love to… You could play the piano, and I could sing lead… And the rest of the class could be back-up… It'd be so great."

Sharpay nodded, and clapped along with the classmates, as they cheered Mira on. The young girl reminded Sharpay so much of the Kelsi she used to know, and Mira had a great voice. One of the best Sharpay had ever heard in that young age.

Sharpay couldn't help but smile, when Mira broke into the version of 'You Are the Music in Me' she had taught her, herself. It was so great to have something to live for. And the kids really made her life worth it.

**--ooo--**

Sharpay locked herself into her apartment, tired after the day's events. She had dropped all writing, because she knew the kids were too excited to work. Even José and CC had dropped work – they'd all agreed to do something great to show the journalists and photographers.

She dropped her purse on a kitchen chair, and kissed the framed picture of her and Ann from their time together. After that, she kissed the old picture of Ryan, which was right next to it, and went to check out the fridge. She was hungry and she had to hurry, because she had work in a half hour.

Her work at the school didn't pay much. Actually, it paid zero, since it was all volunteer. So she had to work at nights at a café, to earn herself enough money for a living. It was alright, and the manager, Daddy Ole, loved her. It was an older guy, who didn't have any family left, and since Sharpay didn't either, they kept each other company during holidays and celebrations. And in the weekends – he often invited her over for dinner, and she loved it. He was like the father she had never had, and it felt awesome to have someone to share her concerns with.

She pulled out the milk carton and drank right from it. She'd always hated when Ryan did that, she used to find it gross, but now… It was much easier, and she was just herself, so who would be bothered?

She hurried into her living room to change into her uniform. It was some silly waitress uniform with a short skirt (for all the perverted guys), a shirt, a tie, and knee high socks. It was alright, if anyone got too close for comfort, she had Daddy Ole's permission to kick them in the crotch.

As she changed into her uniform, she couldn't help but let her mind wander to Ryan and how he was doing right now. She wished she just knew if he was alright. If he had a good life. If he had kids, or a wife? If he owned his father's company. He probably did, yeah. She also couldn't help but remember all the good times she'd shared with him… Oh, those memories always hurt…

_"C'mon, Sharpay!" Ryan mumbled, as he grabbed her hand, and placed it on the right key, "Kelsi taught me this, now I'm teaching you. You have to do it that way, alright?"_

"_But I don't know how to!" Sharpay whined, and turned to him, her brown eyes filled with angry tears. She hated when there was something she couldn't do. It made her feel so helpless. And especially when it was in front of Ryan. She always wanted to look confident in front of him, and right now, that whole image was crashing down. _

"_I'm gonna teach you, I just said that." Ryan chuckled, and stared deeply into her eyes, "You promise to listen to me, and let me help you?" _

_Sharpay let out a deep sigh, "Yeah, okay." she gave in, "But I'm telling you; it's no use. I'm useless at this. I know Mother wants me to learn this, so I can play properly, but I'm a dork at this. I'm better at singing. I know you won't be able to help me." _

"_I will." Ryan mumbled, determination in his voice, "What do I get if I do teach you, eh?" he continued, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. A twinkle she'd only ever want to see in his eyes, because she knew what it meant; it had a hidden meaning. _

_She leaned closer to him, her breath teasing his upper lip, "I'm gonna give you the whole treatment, if you teach me this…" she whispered, before placing a chaste kiss there, and pulling back; leaving him, wanting more. _

"_Okay, I'm so gonna teach you this." Ryan said, a huge smile coming to his lips. He shoved her aside, and took a seat next to her on the bench, shoulder brushing against hers. He kept that smile on his face, as he started playing the actually easy piece of music, Sharpay watching his long, gentle fingers (which were good at other stuff too) playing gracefully across the keys. _

_She couldn't help but grin. He was so perfect, he was so delicate. And he was just hers. He was always there for her, and he treated her better than anyone had ever done. He was her Knight in Shining Armour. She knew he'd do anything for her, and she'd sacrifice everything for him. She was sure of it. He was just… her everything. _

"_You know…" she whispered, as she licked her lips, still watching his every move, "I think the piano lesson can wait for now, right? …I'm sorta… in the need for you…"_

_Ryan stopped playing, and turned to her, a frown across his childish face, "No, Shar… You have to learn this. You need to be able to pla-"_

_Sharpay cut him off. She placed her lips on top of his, and his hands immediately moved from the keys, and to her sides, getting a hold of her. Her fingers moved to his hair, brushing his hat off, before moving them through his blonde locks. He pulled her closer, to sit across his lap, and therefore her back rested against the piano, pressing half the keys down, which made it play out loud. _

_She giggled against his lips, but didn't make a move. He started fumbling with the buttons on her fancy dress-up shirt, and opened them, one for one. She moved her hands beneath his shirt, as he trailed kisses down her neck and to her chest. _

"_Oooh," she moaned, screwing her eyes shut, as a wave of chills hit her, "oh God… Ryan…"_

Sharpay let out a deep sigh, and leaned against the wall, resting her head. She hated thinking of him, because it reminded her of what she could never have. When she wanted to think of something that made her happy, she thought of Ann and the Gellers.

She hated that she didn't speak with them anymore, but she couldn't get herself to call them up, after all these years. It had been so long since she left them. It was embarrassing that she didn't have time to go visit; but she didn't want to face Ann. She loved the time they spent together, but she didn't want it to be them forever and always. She knew Ann didn't want that either, because they were both fairly straight (as straight as one can get, when they've been in a relationship with another person of the same gender), and they both wanted to marry a dude.

Sharpay didn't have anyone special in her life; she had so much trouble finding love. And she knew Ann would have someone else, because Ann was gorgeous. Sharpay felt something was missing though. She hated being alone. She had an okay life. She had a job that got her what she needed. She had passion, from being with the kids. She had a small apartment, and she had people who cared about her, and whom she cared about. But something was missing, and it was that special someone.

Why couldn't she just find someone else? Why couldn't she just forget Ryan, and move on? She knew she'd been with Ann since him, but Ann had been different… Sure, she'd loved the beautiful girl, but it had been more need than anything else. They had found something in each other, and they'd both felt better when they were together. It was need more than anything, and Sharpay learned to live with that. She also knew what it had been with Ryan, and that had been love. Real passion, and real true love. Too bad it couldn't go on forever.

She turned on her phone, to listen to her messages, and was really surprised to find a message from Doctor Mad.

_"Hey Sharpay. It's me. Doctor Mad. I know it's been awhile since we last talked, and I shouldn't really be calling you, but I wanted to know how you were doing. You were supposed to stop on your medication a couple of months ago, right? I wonder how you're doing… If you ever need to talk, give me a call, or whatever. I'm really curious about you. You've always been my favourite patient. But ah… I'm gonna go again. Please let me hear from you… Bye!"_

Sharpay played the message again, to make sure she heard correctly. So Doctor Mad was interested in her? Hmm, that was news. Normally doctors weren't supposed to grow attached to their patients, and Sharpay had never really thought that Doctor Mad liked her. But for some reason – which Sharpay didn't know – Doctor Mad took a liking to her, but she didn't know why. She always called to ask, and to make sure she was doing fine. It was very weird.

She made a mental note to call Doctor Mad as soon as she got time, before skipping out of the apartment, and down the steps. She had to walk to work, but luckily it wasn't that far.

She happily hummed to herself, and couldn't help but think about tomorrow. She hoped that interview would be the start of something new. That it'd be a whole new page.

She was so looking forward to that.

_T__hink of all the days you've wasted  
Worrying, wandering, hopelessly hoping_

_Think of all the time ahead  
Don't hesitate, contemplate  
No its not too late_

* * *

_Sorry about the short chapter. I didn't want to drag it out, though. Next chapter will be up soon, I promise. And thank you for the nice reviews. I hope the lack of Rypay so far, isn't too disappointing. Please review again? – I love them._

_**Disclaimer; **Don't own High School Musical, or the song 'Keep Your Mind Wide Open' by AnnaSophia Robb from the movie 'Bridge to Terabithia'._


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

**Safest Place to Hide**

Ryan was chopping vegetables when he heard the front door go. He placed the knife on the table, knowing that he, in about a minute, would be needing both hands. It didn't even take a _moment_. Phoebe Evans rushed through the kitchen and wrapped her small arms around his waist.

He turned around with a huge smile and scooped her into his embrace, placing a kiss on her forehead, "Hi sweetie. How was school?"

"It was good!" Phoebe smiled, "But I missed you, Daddy."

"I'm here now, though…" Ryan said, his eyes filled with love and tenderness. He loved this girl. He loved her more than life itself. Especially because she reminded him of someone he loved with all his heart. Her long blonde locks framed her childish face delicately, and her piercing brown eyes, filled with fierce and love, stood out, and were the first thing you noticed about her. She reminded him so much of his long-lost sister, and it gave him comfort to be able to see 'her' face before him everyday.

"Hey honey." Mandy said and gently kissed his cheek, "Dinner done soon?"

"Almost." Ryan replied, and placed Phoebe on the floor again, so she could go unpack her things, "I just need to cook the vegetables." He continued, and went back to chopping. He loved Mandy so much, but to this day, she still didn't know what had happened with Sharpay. She thought his sister was dead, but was often confused about the way Viola and Vance Evans hated their daughter – especially when she was dead. It was very weird, but she often said to Ryan that she didn't want to get into their heads.

The Evans family had always been a little off, Ryan knew that himself. They weren't like everyone else, they were different. That was why he and Sharpay had believed it'd be okay for them to be together; stranger things had happened in their huge, and rich family. Their family was full of secrets, and he and Sharpay had had a huge one together. There was still only a few people who really knew what had happened; and right now his life was almost perfect, so he'd like to keep it that way, though it would be great to see her again.

When the vegetables were chopped into pieces, he heated them up on a frying pan, while Mandy was setting the round table in their kitchen. Phoebe was sitting on her seat, excitingly telling both her parents all about her day. They'd learned how to write Ks today, and she was very proud to tell that she was the first one in her class to write the perfect K.

Ryan was so proud of his daughter as well. She was his little angel, and she did make his life a whole lot better. Mandy was great too; he really loved her, even if nothing could measure up to Sharpay. He didn't want to think about her now, though. He wanted to have a nice dinner with his family.

When their food was done, the small family sat down around the dinner table, and enjoyed a well-cooked meal. Phoebe was still going on about a lot of things in her school, while Ryan just smiled at her, and occasionally caught his wife's eye. Mandy shot him a sweet smile, and helped Phoebe cut her steak in half, so the small girl could eat it better.

It was their night tonight. Both Ryan and Mandy had been busy these last couple of days, so they hadn't really had time for any 'them-time'. So they had agreed last night that they'd get Phoebe in bed early and have an evening on the couch. Ryan had been looking forward to it all day, since the times were they made love, where the times he was most happy, and closest to 'her'. It sounded wrong, even in his own head, but he couldn't help himself.

Mandy was beautiful. She had long blonde hair and a gorgeous body. Nothing like Sharpay's though. Her hair didn't curl just right, and her nose wasn't quite special enough. She was a bit more chubby, and her eyes were green. That was the worst part of it. Her eyes weren't brown. They were green.

"Why do I have to go to bed early?" Phoebe wanted to know, her big brown eyes filling with tears. She wasn't used to this. She was used to getting what she wanted. Ryan knew they had probably spoiled her a bit too much, but he hadn't been able to help himself. He wanted to be there for her, like his own parents hadn't been there for him. He wanted to make sure she wouldn't turn out to be as screwed up as he felt; she was his baby. No way he was going to make her a little brother, just so they could sleep together like he and Sharpay had done.

Not that there was anything wrong with that. He loved her. She was his everything. But _still_.

"Because Mommy and Daddy need some alone-time, sweetie." Ryan tried to explain, but felt Mandy kick him beneath the table. He turned his eyes upward, to meet hers, and she shot him a glare.

"No, sweetie." She said, with a shrug, "There's something really important Mommy has to watch in the news today. She really wants to see what's up with that, and it's not for your eyes, so you're gonna have to be with Teddy in bed, alright?"

Phoebe seemed to think it over for a second or two, before nodding her head, "Okay." she said, pushing her chair back, "But only if you read me a bedtime story, Mommy!" she placed her hands on her hips, and stared at them both, very seriously. The only thing going through Ryan's mind was '_Sharpay!_'.

Mandy pushed her chair back and scooted Phoebe into her arms, "I will, honey, don't you worry!" she smiled, as they made their way towards the stairs, "Daddy can clean the table away!"

Ryan groaned inwardly, but didn't say a word. When they were out of sight, he quickly cleared the table away, not bothering to put the dishes in the dishwasher yet – he could always do that tomorrow. He wanted to catch the next news, Mandy had stirred something within him with her words, so now he had an urge to watch it.

He went into the living room, and sat down on the couch; turning on the TV. He always watched the news, he just had to. It was a part of him. Living in a world like he did, with a company with at least five thousand people beneath him, he had to know what went on in the world. It was important, his father had told him that a million times.

He leaned back in the couch, relaxing. It was one of the few times during the day, he really got time to himself. It was calming to sit there on his own, and just watch whatever he wanted to (though he always watched the news, but still…). He could zap between the channels if he liked to. Normally Mandy hated when he did that, but when she wasn't there, he could do just as he liked. She was demanding like that. Just as Sharpay had always been.

The reporter came on now, and started telling the most recent news. Nothing really caught his attention, so he just watched it with a cocky smile on his face, hoping something would come on soon. If nothing came on in his interest, he could have watched cartoons instead. He loved cartoons.

Ryan was just about to close his eyes for a second, and relax before having some quality time with Mandy, when his eyes almost popped out of his head. There, before him, on the TV screen, stood Sharpay. Sure, her hair was brown, and the TV told him she was now Sharpay Geller. But there was no doubt. It was her. It was his sister… He hadn't seen her in so long.

He launched forward and grabbed the remote, quickly turning the volume up, so he would be able to hear whatever was going on. They were someplace in New York, standing in front of an old looking building. Sharpay's hair was blowing in the wind, as the reporter was talking.

"…_with Sharpay Geller. She teaches kids of all ages how to write, but you also do more than that, right Sharpay? You have the so-called 'fun class' I am told. What is that about?_"

Ryan listened closer and sat up straighter, when the camera zoomed in on Sharpay.

She managed a weak smile, her brown eyes overflowing with passion, "_I teach them how to sing. We had a musical up for awhile, and we just have fun together and goof off. Everyone loves it. I have quite a few talented kids in my class. They're all pretty amazing._" she finished, eyes never moving from the reporter's to the screen.

Ryan was kind of glad that they didn't. Because he wouldn't know if he'd be able to look her in the eyes.

"_What do you say we go inside?_" the reporter asked, and by Sharpay's nod, he followed her inside, through an old looking door and down a deserted hallway.

"_This is where we teach the kids, basically._" Sharpay told them, as she pointed at the different rooms, "_We don't have too many classrooms, and we need pencils and books…_" she stopped in front of a room, "_This is my classroom. It's really not that much, and the fundraiser we had last summer didn't do as well as we hoped. But we're always open for donations. We'd like that very much, in fact._"

The reporter laughed (probably more of politeness than anything else), and they went inside the classroom, where a bunch of kids, all different ages, stood in front of the blackboard, smiling at the unknown people in the room. They looked afraid, but the camera zoomed in on Sharpay again, and she shot them all a reassuring smile.

"_Ms. Sharpay!_" one of the kids cheered. It was a little guy with bouncy, curly hair, and he ran to Sharpay and hugged her around the waist.

Sharpay laughed, _"This is Little Joe. He's one of our youngest._" She explained.

The reporter placed the microphone in front of his mouth, ready to ask some questions, "_What do you think of going to this school… Little Joe?_"

Little Joe seemed to think about it for a second or two, before he smiled widely, showing his two missing front teeth, "_It's the greatest!_" he said, and looked up at Sharpay with adoration, "_Ms. Sharpay is very nice. She helps us. And she sometimes plays the piano so Mira can sing for us!_"

"_Sing?_" the reporter questioned and turned back to Sharpay, "_What do you sing?_"

"_Would you like to hear a piece?_" Sharpay asked, but she didn't wait for an answer. She hurried across the room, Little Joe in tow, and sat down by an old, crappy piano, Little Joe on the bench next to her. She turned her head to the side, and gave the kids a mark, which caused one of them to step forward, and take in a deep breath.

The camera zoomed in on the girl Ryan presumed was Mira, and before he knew what was happening, the familiar tunes of 'You Are the Music in Me' were coming through his TV. Sharpay was playing, and soon the little girl was singing, the rest of the class doing back-up.

Ryan sat back in his chair, a smile on his lips. Why did this seem like something Sharpay would do with her life? He didn't know, but all he knew was … It was nice seeing her again. Just like this…

…

…Ryan laughed when the reporter said bye to the woman named José and went outside again, ready to say goodbye for now.

"_This was it for today, people. We've made a close-up on one of the schools in New York. There's three people here who desperately try to help poor kids get a good education. They're doing the best they can, but they could really use some help. If you feel generous, you could donate some money. All money would be welcomed. Don't the kids deserve new pencils and new books? Don't they deserve a chance?_"

"Yeah they do…" Ryan whispered to himself, as he was getting lost in the show.

"_You can always contact José Olson, and she'll make sure your money gets through. Her name is on our website._" The reporter informed, "_And then, a last word from Sharpay Geller;_"

"_I just want the kids to have all the opportunities they want._" Sharpay said, as she was on the screen again, her eyes glistening with hope in the faint sunlight, "_I want them to be happy, and make a good life. If you're a generous person, you'd want to help as well._"'

As the credits rolled by, Ryan turned off the TV, deep in thought. That was surely some news today. It almost felt as a documentary, because the last couple of weeks, the reporters had done close-up on schools. He had seen it once in awhile, but Mandy was very interested in it. This was probably what she would have watched too, if Phoebe hadn't needed a bedtime story.

He had no idea Sharpay had even been into stuff like that, though. He had suspected she was happy somewhere, maybe having an okay life, but he hadn't known, and would have never guessed her to be living a life like this. It seemed appropriate though, after everything she had been through herself. She just wanted to help other kids with bad families.

But she couldn't make much money out of this. She was probably living in some dirty flat, and had to take two more jobs to even be able to pay the rent. That was not the fate he wanted for his sister. It wasn't the fate he wanted for the woman he loved more than anything. The question was just, how he was going to get her out? She was in New York, and seemed to enjoy what she was doing. He knew Sharpay well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to get her back with him, if it was even possible. She cared too much for those kids, and for her work.

But he was rich. He had a lot of money, and he could always donate some. He was sure the school would enjoy that, and he… He could go see Sharpay. He could… If he went with the money and handed them over himself, he would be able to see Sharpay again. He would be able to talk to her.

His heart ached to be near her again. His skin begged for her touch – just a hug. He wanted to take in her smell, and hold her in his arms again. He desperately needed to just look at her, just gaze at her. He could go there, and he could take her out for dinner. Just to see her. There was no harm in that.

His parents would never have to know. He'd just tell Mandy he was going to donate some money, and she would be proud of him for doing so. They wouldn't have to know. Mandy thought his sister was dead. It would just be the two of them for a whole day in New York. They could have lunch, and he could see her again.

He could _see _her again.

_I know I promised you forever  
There's no stronger word I can use  
To reassure you when the storm is raging outside  
You're my safest place to hide_

* * *

_Thank you for the reviews. _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own High School Musical or 'Safest Place to Hide' by Backstreet Boys. _


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

**Secret Lovers**

_How __could something so wrong be so right  
__I wish we didn't have to keep our love out of sight, yeah  
Livin' two lives just ain't easy at all  
But we gotta hang on in there or fall_

"…so, have a good day, and I'll see you all on Monday!" Sharpay finished, as she smacked her hands together, and all the kids pushed their chairs back, to get out of school, and finally have weekend. They may all love school more than they love home, but it was nice to have time off for two days. Not even Sharpay could change that.

Little Joe bounced up to her and gave her the usual hug around her waist, "I'll miss you Ms. Sharpay!" he cheered, when he pulled back and stared up at her. Adoration was shining through those eyes, and she couldn't help but let her own shine right back; full of love.

"Oh, I'll miss you too, Joey-boey." Sharpay whispered, and leaned down to kiss him on the hair, "Make sure you practise that reading, alright? You'll soon beat all the other kids in this class if you practise hard."

Little Joe seemed to like that idea, "Really? You really think I'll be the best, Ms. Sharpay?" he asked her, his face all smiley. Sharpay really loved him. If she could adopt him from his parents, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

"I know so, sweetie." She promised him and leaned down the grab her bag. She digged into it and fixed out a pack of gum. She popped one piece into her mouth, before thrusting the almost full pack into Little Joe's small hand, "That's for you, honey."

Little Joe smiled brightly, before he took a piece of gum like she had done, bid her goodbye and hurried out of the classroom, ready to enjoy the afternoon sun. Not that much of it managed to get through the smock and high buildings, but whatever did, he enjoyed like all the other kids.

Sharpay picked up her coat, and wrapped it around herself, because even if the sun was out, it was still cold in NYC. She grabbed her scarf too, and her hat, placing in on top of her loose, brown curls. Then she got her things together, and hurried out of the classroom, ready to get home for a nice weekend. She had to work in the café though, but it would be alright. She loved being at Daddy Ole's. He was always so nice to her.

She met José in the hallway though, and stopped to have a short chat with her. The short, slightly chubby woman smiled at her, which caused her to have huge dimples, and Sharpay could immediately see that something was up. She knew José was happy always, but this time she seemed even cheerier. It seemed like a good sign.

"Guess what!?" José said, her voice very excited. She went right on, and didn't beat around the bush.

Sharpay smiled, and got a better hold on her bag, "What?" she questioned, eyes searching her friend's for answers, "Something good happened? What exactly though?"

José nodded excitingly, "Yeah, it did! It's good news. For the school too." She paused, to tease Sharpay because she could see her co-worker wanted to know, "We got a donation!" she finally revealed.

Sharpay could feel her heart skip a beat, and her eyes go wide, "For real?!" she exclaimed, happiness immediately shooting through her. And she couldn't hide that smile, "Like, how much? Who?"

"A generous guy." José told her, as she leaned against the wall, feeling that this was going to take awhile, "He was awfully cute. He had blonde hair, quite tall. Blue eyes. And uh… he was rather skinny. But he was generous."

"How much?" Sharpay asked, voice a bit hard. She had to know. It was almost killing her already. She had to know how much money they were able to spend on good things now. Books, pencils… _Everything_ they needed.

José got a giddy look on her face when she reached into her pocket, and held the piece of paper out to her, ready to show Sharpay just how much money they had gotten. Sharpay squealed when she read the number and José jumped into the air as well, and then they met in a deep hug.

When they pulled back and stared at each other, they couldn't contain their smiles. Sharpay was so happy. She couldn't describe this feeling. Nothing could beat that in her book. She had never really been so happy. All this hard work was worth it. She remembered being happy when she was with Ryan and when she was with Ann. But all the bad stuff was clear in her mind too. But making good lives for these kids made her truly happy. She was able to live now. It was good.

"This is so great." She confirmed and hugged José again, "But I really gotta yet. Catch ya' on Monday, alright?"

"Yeah, of course." José said, as she turned to find her jacket somewhere in this ruddy building, "Have a nice weekend." She finished.

"You too." Sharpay replied, before she turned around and took the last final steps into the 'fresh' air. She stopped on top of the steps to the building, and took in a deep breath. All the kids were already gone, happy that it was weekend, and she was happy now too. More than ever.

She went down the steps, and wrapped her coat tighter around herself; shielding her body from the breezy New York air. She was walking quickly on her high heels, but then almost fell, when she tripped over a ball (probably one of the kids') and her heel got stuck in the rough pavement. She was relived though, when someone caught her, because otherwise her butt would have hurt all through the weekend. She grabbed a hold of the stranger's arm, and got her heel out of the crack in the tiles.

The stranger helped her stand up straight, and she fixed her coat, and tried to hide her blush, when she looked up, and turned around to thank the stranger. Her breath got caught in her throat though, when she looked into the bluest eyes she had ever seen, and that familiar smile was right before her. It seemed so surreal.

"Hi Sharpay." Ryan said, his voice soft and low.

Sharpay swallowed hard and blinked a couple of times to let her eyes adjust. This couldn't be true. Ryan couldn't be standing right there in front of her, right now. She hadn't seen him in around ten years. He had changed, but she was sure it was him. There was no doubt. It was her… _her_ Ryan.

"Ryan…" she said, breathlessly, and couldn't help her smile from before getting even huger. If she thought she was happy before, she was ecstatic, overly-excited now. _This_ made her day.

Ryan could feel that lump in his throat, and then couldn't help himself any longer. He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around his little sister. The sister he had only seen on TV some days ago, and had missed for so many years. He could feel her arms wrap around him as well, as she snuggled into his embrace. He took in her scent, and the feel of her in his embrace. He knew he had missed her for so long and dreamt of a moment like this, but it couldn't measure up to how it was for real. She felt amazing in his arms. It brought tears to his eyes, and he tried to hold them back without success.

They soon flowed down his cheeks, and he could feel Sharpay's body moving with her sobs, as she cried into his chest. He had a good grip around her, and he didn't ever want to let her go. The feeling was amazing. They stood like that for a long time. He lost count immediately, and just appreciated this.

They had to break it up though, and they finally did. Sharpay's cheeks were tear-stained and her make-up was smudged, but he hadn't seen her more beautiful. She swallowed hard and brushed her cheeks, but it didn't help much. They were still wet.

And when she spoke, her voice was raw and full of emotions, "Ryan…" she whispered, "What are you doing here?"

Ryan digged his hands into the pockets in his long cotton coat and shrugged slightly, "I saw a beautiful woman on TV the other night. She told everyone how this school needed money and donations. So I felt generous. José is a really sweet woman."

Sharpay grinned, "That was you!?" she exclaimed, and he could tell she was very happy. "Oh my God, thank you so much. I was so happy when José told me about it! I can't believe you'd donate that much money."

"I have enough of them as it is, Sharpay." Ryan replied, a shot her a cocky smile, "I won't miss it."

She nodded, but didn't know what to say. They stared at each other for a few minutes, just taking in the other, and how good it was to see each other again. After all these years, and the other still gave them comfort like they'd never experienced before. The silence wasn't awkward, it was wonderful.

Ryan broke it though, and suggested something he'd thought a lot about, "So how about I treat you for a late lunch?" he asked her, and held out his hand.

She placed her small hand in his, "Or an early dinner." She said, before giggling lightly, while Ryan chuckled. They then walked down the street, their hands laced together, and their shoulders brushing. They both felt safe now.

**--ooo--**

"So, you know how I've been," Sharpay begun, as she digged into her late lunch (or early dinner – depending how you look at it), "but I don't know how you've been. So? How are you?" she wanted to know, her brown eyes shining. She couldn't stop smiling.

Ryan smiled right back at her, "I've been alright. Managing Father's company, of course." He held his hand out, to show off his ring, "Married too. I have a daughter."

"Oh," Sharpay said, and swallowed hard. She hadn't noticed the ring before, "you're married?" she asked him, and decided to ignore how much it hurt.

"Yeah," Ryan said, and ignored the pang of guilt that shot through his body. Just because he was married, didn't mean he didn't love her anymore. Because he did. He loved her with all his heart, "to Mandy. She's alright. Nothing too special. Our daughter is named Phoebe…" he trailed off, "She reminds me so much of you."

Sharpay smiled softly at him, when he digged into his pocket, and pushed a picture across the table. On it was a blonde girl with brown eyes. And Ryan was right. She actually did look like her, "What about Vance and Viola?" she asked, swallowing hard, "How are they? Are – are they fine?"

Ryan nodded a little, afraid to say anything that might upset her. He knew that his parents would probably be a tough subject for her to talk about, because of everything. It was her who brought them up though, so he better answer her, "They're alright. Father doesn't work after I took over the company. Mother's still the same. They're fine." He paused, "We – we got your letter on graduation day. Thank you."

Sharpay managed a week smile, "You're welcome. I figured I better write you. I hadn't expected an answer. Ann said she thought it was a good idea though, so I decided to do it." Sharpay explained, and by that she also brought up Mary-Ann. Something Ryan had been very curious about.

"What about this … Ann? You still with her?" Ryan asked, struggling to get the words out. He hoped she wasn't. If she was, she was only into girls now, and he didn't want that. He wanted her for himself.

Sharpay shook her head, "Broke it off when I moved here. I don't speak much with the Gellers anymore. It was nice while it lasted."

Ryan nodded and watched her eat for a second, as she got lost in her sandwich again. He wanted nothing more than to hug her, and just be with her. To have her in that way again. To let all his dream for these past years become reality. He had missed her so much, and he needed release. She was his everything.

He took a bold move and softly let his hand walk across the table. He hoped to grab her free hand before she even realized what he was doing. He managed to get it across the table, and let it rest there without Sharpay knowing, and when he was sure she was absorbed in her food, he covered her small hand with his. He felt her tense for a second, before she turned her hand around, so they were palm against palm. Then her fingers curled, and she linked them with his, before looking up softy, locking eyes with him.

The smile on her face told him everything he needed to know. It was okay. She had missed him too, and she loved him as much as he loved her. She wanted this just as much as he wanted it.

They ate their lunch in silence for a few minutes, before he felt Sharpay's foot sneak up his leg. His head shot up and his eyes were filled with questions beneath his hat. She shot him a teasing smile and hurried with the rest of her food. He did the same, and tried to handle himself, even if she was teasing him. It was hard, but he managed to get through his lunch, and when they were both finished, Ryan paid for their food, and they stood up to leave.

He had no idea where they were going, but it didn't matter. As long as they were together, he knew everything would be fine. He had all weekend. He'd told Mandy he'd be gone for the weekend for the donation. And she had said it was fine. He just had to call Phoebe later because he couldn't stand being away from her.

Sharpay stopped outside the restaurant, her hand firm on his arm. He turned to look at her, and before he knew what was happening, their lips met in a kiss. He had never forgotten the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he kissed her. It was amazing and his skin rose Goosebumps immediately. It was the same now. Her lips brushed against his, and her tongue parted his lips, to explore his mouth more. His hands found their way to her waist, and her arms wound around his neck.

It was indescribable to be kissing her again. All his senses awakened, and the grey world he had been living in since she left, now turned colourful again, just by the touch of her lips.

When they pulled apart, she looked into his eyes with complete adoration. The look in her eyes were almost too much for him to handle, and he swallowed hard.

"Where do we go?" he whispered, voice soft.

She seemed to think about it for a second, but really, she didn't have much to think about. She grabbed his hand again, and said, "My place." Before she pulled him with her down the busy street. He had no idea where she lived, but he just went along with her, anticipating what he knew would happen when they arrived at her place.

**--ooo--**

She pushed him against the wall, pulling rapidly at his jacket. Their lips brushed against each other, as the cotton coat landed on the floor, and he got off her jacket as well. Both their hats were thrown away, as he pushed her backwards into the nearest room he could find. Her bed was in the centre of the room, and they moved on top of it, him landing on her.

They kissed as their hands worked to find buttons and zippers. Her brown hair was sprawled beneath her head, across the sheets, and she looked beautiful like never before.

He had no regrets when he kissed her. Even if he had a wife, and his father would kill him if he knew. It didn't matter to him, because this was true love. This was what really made him happy, what really made his heart beat. This was what he lived for, and those memories where no longer memories after this moment. He couldn't believe it was happening.

It was Sharpay. His wonderful sister. And no longer would he have to dream. She was right there, right beneath him.

**--ooo--**

She snuggled into his embrace, her head resting in his armpit and his arm was around her shoulders. She kissed the side of his body and let out a content sigh. This was the life. She was with her Ryan now. It was amazing. And what they had just shared was amazing. After all these years they still worked together like they were meant to be. They still fit together like they were born to be where they were. She loved him with all her heart, even if she had tried to move on from this for all these years. But she couldn't. She could never forget him.

"I love you, Sharpay." Ryan told her and hugged her tight.

She smiled up at him, "I love you too." She replied, and before he even managed to ask, she answered, "And no, this isn't wrong. Love can't be wrong."

"Oh, Sharpay…" Ryan told her, a hint of teasing in his voice. He couldn't help it, even if the subject was not funny at all, "This is wrong. But not because we're siblings. Because I'm _married_."

Realization hit her. He was married. And it was wrong because of that. They shouldn't be doing this, because he was unfaithful to his wife. She couldn't have him forever like she wanted to. She couldn't have him here with her, because he had a life to get home to. It hurt her. It really hurt her. "Yeah, you're married…" she whispered.

He moved them over, so he was staring down at her, their faces inches apart, "It doesn't change how I feel about you." he told her, his voice light, even if she was hurt, and he could see it, "I love you Sharpay. I love you with all my heart. I wished we could get married and live a life together. It's not just because I'm married, but also because no one would let us. I wish we could – but we can't."

Sharpay nodded, and stared deeply into his eyes. She understood where he was coming from, but it still hurt. She knew he knew that, anyway.

They were startled out of their loving embrace by the sound of Sharpay's phone ringing. She didn't move to answer it, because she didn't want to ruin this with Ryan. The call just went to voice mail.

"_Pick up your phone, woman!_" came José's voice through the phone, "_Who the hell was the hottie I saw you with? Was that not the guy I told you about? You know him? Sharpay! I know you're there, you have no life, pick up the phone_… _Gosh woman, goodbye then._" José finally gave up, and Sharpay giggled into Ryan's chest.

"What are we gonna do, Sharpay?" he asked her, and rolled them over, so she was lying on top of him instead. He had to know how they were going to do this. He couldn't live without her again. They were going to have to work something out.

"I don't know," Sharpay honestly replied, "but I know I can't live without you. I love you Ryan, and I want to be a part of your life. Can't I be that?"

"You have to." He said, voice firm. Because she really had to. She had to be there with him. "Can't I…" he swallowed a lump in his throat, "Can't I come visit you once in awhile?"

Sharpay smirked down at him, "Am I your new business partner?" she wanted to know.

"Who knows…" Ryan whispered, as their faces got closer, "…you might just be…" he finished, before the gap between them was closed, and they went for another round.

_Secret lovers, yeah, that's what we are  
We shouldn't be together  
But we can't let go, no, no  
'Cause we love each other so  
Ooh…ooh…_

* * *

_So. That was the last chapter. I hope you've enjoyed this story. I know it has been a little weird, and when writing this story, it truly frustrated me. But I really did want to try something different than my usual lovey-dovey stuff, and the subject of a relationship between Ryan and Sharpay has always interested me, because they do have some sort of chemistry, but are siblings. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, though. _

_I hope you were able to follow my train of thoughts throughout this story. _

_I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing. Even if this story was written before I posted the first chapter, I appreciate it, because I needed review to encourage me to post more ;b _

_**Disclaimer;** __I don't own High School Musical or 'Secret Lovers' by Starr Atlantic. I love that song. It's gorgeous. _


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